Monday, March 14, 2011

I know now. .

didnt know my heart will scream again.

Is it because it is ripping up bit by bit?
It is because the thread i used to sew my heart broke?
Or that my sewing was that bad? The needle i use not sharp enough?

I scream when i really cry. And i just did in the lab just now :(

I am so sorry. I was about to say the same thing. Dont like me just because i am pitiful.
Dont love me out of sympathy. Dont like me because i like you.
Even though i have let you know . .it still dont feel like it. But it certainly makes me feel better. Is it because i have known what i really want? I want you? And i dont want you?

But one thing for sure. When i have my nap, i saw her. I missed her. My popo.
I shouldn't forget. How can i forget something so important?!
When she was blind and couldn't see a thing at all. .when she took a step forward using her walker, wasn't she afraid about what's ahead?

Why did i stop conquer my fear of darkness?

So from now on. I won't . I will take STEPS forward as bravely as her without closing my eyes :)

Head hurts. Heart hurts. Body hurts. Breathing hurts. Eyes hurt.
But with each hurts i grow stronger.
But i pray hard. So hard that you wont have this, sis. It's really painful. Be smart.


I can even predict what you'll be wearing. Like today.
Scary.

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