Shouldn't really live in denial, aye? My heart will remind me how weak i am, anyways....
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
23.11.2011..My dearest popo,
It was only 2 years back... :(
I remembered clearly...
whenever my grandmother held my cold hands, she would rub them warm..her hands were smooth..."Aiyoo...why your hands so cold?? " . . Whenever i cooked meals for her , she would try to eat as much as she can..She appreciates every thing that we did for her..I changed her diapers willingly..I massaged her everyday...Oh gosh..I miss her like a lot..Alot!!! :(
She was the most gentle women i have ever encountered in my life..the most caring and understanding...no one can replace this position in my heart...I want to be someone like her..
Ah po..
how are you?
Monday, November 21, 2011
Grateful...
When you have my "kind of thing"...You'll feel awesome when you get to breathe so well sometimes...You'll appreciate things even more..I learnt not to ask for much..Sometimes..when my heart beat too fast..It makes me wonder...will it stop at the certain point of time??
Make my mornings more bearable..May i feel great every morning i wake up..
Protect all those i hold dear in my heart..family and friends..grant them good health and their good wishes..Guide them along their way and show them light when they are lost :)
I wish for happiness for all the people beside me...
under e moon
i pray
Friday, November 18, 2011
Dad....
Hmmm...I thought i might be imagining thing too much or that i am too tired these days...But this is how was started :
16.11.2011
Two days ago..outside Spice, I was looking at the sky to search for e moon..Instead i saw a tiny shiny line shoot past in the sky !! I thought i saw a shooting star or something... Wei Sheng came out and i told him about this.. He asked me don't care so much and make a wish anyway !
I did make one wish that day :)
Till I felt my father suddenly and i asked Wei Sheng to go back first....Hmmmm....It was harder than what i have imagined. You won't know how much a person weighs in your heart till you lose him or her..So true..I was really torn when i saw him. But i don't want to cry in front of him..I look at him..So much too clearly...he feels...sad..He is crying....
When i lifted off my gaze back to the sky, he left..I stood there quite long till i went back to Spice..Feelings all eating me up inside.. :(
Ah dee , I really missed you alot these days... Thank you for coming.... :)
I woke up with a "rushing heart-beat" in the clinic today... I dun dare to move at all...I know if i were to stand, i would definitely faint.. I don't know what i should i do if it was my turn..I sat there till i fell slept again.... :(
Till i was okay to stand, i stood up and asked the nurse whether i missed my turn or something...Heng..it was really not my turn yet..Sigh !!!
Friday, November 11, 2011
Prayers ~
Japan Title : Inori ~
English Title : You Raise me Up ~
By : Lena Park
From : Romeo x Juliet (OP)
In the depths of my tear-filled eyes, Is your everlasting beauty. "How far does the world go?" Those words from our bygone days. |
Even on those freezing, stormy nights, Though you are still out of sight, I continue on. Please tell me, ocean-crossing winds, That my prayers will pass through time. |
Beyond the misty horizons, Stars are fabled to lie. "Dawn will surely follow every night." The sins of my past laughs. |
I try to embrace you trembling with uncertainty, But I look up at the empty sky beyond reach. I hear the chime that illuminates darkness, Showing me that the path to you is still far. |
Even on those freezing, stormy nights, Though you are still out of sight, I continue on. Please tell me, ocean-crossing winds, That my prayers will pass through time. |
My prayers will pass through time. .............................................................. Today is 11.11.11 !!! I am going to post this on 11.11 pm !!! :D Hmmm..just feel like sharing this song :) I have been praying a lot under the moon lately .... I wonder if your prayers will really be heard by the God.. Hmmm... :) I love night walks and the cooling night wind :) |
Friday, November 4, 2011
F....
I was at the edge of slapping a guy in public today!!!
In the end, i just walked off after asking him to FUCK OFF from my sister's life.
I think the whole FC 5 should have heard me... oh gosh...
I am glad that she fell hard this time.. I hope that she would learn well after this :)
I can do it. So do you, ah man... No one can help you if you don't want to help yourself..
You are a grown-up already. Don't make ppl worry. Remember that..
don't ever let me see you again
i mean it
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Tired day ~
DO you need to take care of a baby at the age of 18-21?
From my first nephew till the second one... It has been years i held on this responsibility.. Because it is something that i have already committed...this heavy responsibility...
Sometimes...I feel bad for feeling this way at all...But when times like this..My ah sou flying to UK for 2 weeks...soon will be followed by my brother for the next two weeks to Shanghai...and although the maid is coming...She has no experience at all...do you think you can trust her to take care of TWO babies at the same time??? Also at the same time like this...I am fucking weak and sick...
I have my assignments pilling up ...I cannot even go work for these following weeks..My bank account keep depreciating... Have you guys give it a thought?? Did you guys do the same things as me when you were at my age?? Why don't you guys wash the piles of clothes? Why don't you guys wash the dishes after you guys use it??? Why you guys just don't fill up the water ??
Every morning, the kick always come..I need to breathe for awhile..Rest for a while before i wake up ...I will end up being all so tired every morning...every morning i dragged myself out of the bed..I cannot even go run and relax...I feel like i cannot even breathe sometimes ! I cannot do the thing i like when i feel like it !
Ah sou flying off tonite...and i don't know how things will go...But all i know now is i am all so tired.. I want to stop taking care of my nephews...I want to feel free from these commitments...I am not even attached! Not to mention married !
Because i am someone who will not dump my responsibilities that i have already committed earlier!!!
Guess that i am really tired today... :(
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