Top 5 Meat List !!!

No.1 : MOS burger !!

No.2 : Kenny Roggers!!! ( last time i ate was 3 years ago ! ) - first thing i wanna eat after i take off my braces !!!

No.3 : Otak otak !!

No.4 : Unagi Maki and loads of Sushi !!

No.5 : HOTDOGS !!!

Oh gosh...I hungry so easy lately...and i think now also ... D:

Memories ~

When i hoppped into the 99 Bus yesterday...My sister and i were shocked to see that uncle again...LOL....we used to sit 99 to Jurong JC last time.. And he still could remember us after all the changes...Being a twin plus a metal-ppl usually attracts alot of acquaintances in life.. :)

Good or bad thing hard to say...

I found back the person who helped me to perm my hair...I was happy to see her to still working at the same place ! We sat back at the same seat also..Hmmm...My motivation of perming my hair is still the same :)

All the memories coming back..Last time...i used to wake up at 5.43am..then rushed for bus 185 or 99 at 6.30am...reached sch at 7...studied half an hour before assembly..JC life was tough, man... If i have to work summo for that point of time..i think i will die...LOL

Had a wonderful dinner and walk with friends at Orchard..though i can't take meat :D But it has been really long since i really eat a meal...I ate cookies, breads..fruits or chocolates for meals lately...I am so sorry that i couldnt wish Xinyu and i wished i could have at least bought her a cake!

School and work all okies :D . . .Hmmm...I rewinding to get back to the happy-go-lucky me..trying hard not to complain as much cos problems is always how you see them :) I am trying to live with the heart beats and lose-off balance sometimes..I don't know what happen to me but I feel fine sometimes...I don't like to rely on medicine too much... I just don't like it when it affects my surrounding ppls...Forgive me :)

And i believe it will RECOVER !!!

Dad, are you looking at us now? You can leave peacefully and without any worries ok? We are all fine ! You must let go and go to heaven !!! Jiayou!

they are blind but they can see from their heart :)

Wow...I stood for nearly ten hours straight man.... Lucky that i went for back treatments earlier...or else i think it should be...hmmm break? But all the same..back pain... :(

If you buy ten dollar worth of the product, you'll get a free massage from a blind man :)

My sister and I were assigned to send the two blind man to the mrt station...They were really friendly. And what makes me salute them the most is they can even laugh when they reviewed back the past that they cannot continue their studies because their eyesight worsen..As in they can take it as a joke and laugh it off...jiayou uncles!!! :)

Feel like eating a MOS burger now =x meat de.... =x

amitabha...

Inner peace..

Finally the NTU attachment ended ... :)

It goes pretty well...I was really lucky that i got a really good mentor plus i didnt choose the wrong project to work on ! Pheww.... Although i like to learn, I don't like to work with machines... like what my other classmates need to.. So, will i continue on material science after my diploma ? That is the answer that i wish to find out throughout my attachment in NTU...Hmmm....I still cannot find the answer :(

Cos...I still cannot find what i really like to do ....But am i someone who chases over ideality or rationality? let's see how things go anyway...I want to be a worry-less person ..lol

How long has it been since my heart beat so normal? LOL...I ate medicine and it's like OMG...I can breathe so well ! I ate the medicine cos i want to feel comfortable for my presentation and it did :) After this, all presentations at SP will be like ...hehe much easier...My family didn't teach us to take things easy. We don't like to say the word "easy" because parents will expect alot from it when you say so...LOL...so yea..unless i am very confident, the word easy rarely will come out from my mouth.. ^^

I like night walks....especially when the weather is so cooling...It's like every pores of my body enjoying the comfy feeling when the slight breeze blows over you...When you look up and feel the wind..open and let your ears reach far...concentrate and listen to the tree talks...This is what i call inner peace ! :D

I want to eat loads of sushi !!! Loads and loads of them.....

Hey dad...

"Dad, can i go watch movie today?"

I don't think i have asked that question in my whole life. Or my dad's whole life. Before i left..the last time i saw him in the hospital , he looked at me with those eyes..cannot-bear-to-let-go eyes...It was like the last look...I dun like it....don't see me with those eyes... :(

Before i go and catch my bus, you were finally sleeping..I was glad cos you didn't sleep at all for two-three days straight ! You can't talk...You didn't respond to me. You didn't give me any expressions either.. You were so in pain and yet you couldn't tell us where...I wonder if that's when you got your mild stroke that mum failed to notice..You were fucking thin...I'd rather you talk and kept on scolding us like the times you were hospitalized in the past ! Slap me, Beat me or anything cos i didn't do the things the way you want me to!

I don't want to blame my mum for not staying over that day to watch over you that day ..Why didn't you tell the nurses that you didn't eat ? How are you going to withstand the dialysis without eating anything? Why mum wasn't there to make sure you eat? Why mum didn't just show her concern more towards you? Why mum doesn't want to share a room with you when you are so sick after i come to Sg? Why you go and do all those things in the past that make yourself despicable? Why you make all your children hate you somehow? I don't want to remember all those ! You told me that you have money to use when you sent me money for my back ! But i found nothing in your room to settle card bills when i was back for your funeral !

Even now, I always thought you were the one calling our house phone like you used to everyday :( I miss you, dad...Oh my gosh...I was a much stronger person with you by my side !

Feelings creeping all in ....All delayed feelings like my mum said. Delayed reactions. Cos your mind protects you from breaking down.

I sinned today. I went and watched a movie with my sis...It was an unplanned one. But somehow, i wanted my mind to go off somewhere..I am so fucking weak.. I am no fighter. I am breaking into pieces..My mind and my body...Zm just reminded me of this last night..It was just so true..I am afraid to stop..So i just keep on going and pushing myself to my limit-less.

Until all these illness.. and things that will be soon going to be better around me, I will stop :)

No matter how much I am not used to. I will take breaks. But I am proud of myself since...I took alot of breaks this time. Physically and mentally. I am going to lazy. I want someone to say me lazy for once in my lifetime...lol

I thank you, dad for making me who i am. I am proud of myself. And it's enough for me that you knew :)

That's why i said much earlier that i hoped hard that you won't see me through...but you didnt leave me some rooms for myself . . And see through me right till the end. And helped me to say words that i don't dare to say out loud for myself.I got all too comfortable around you.

But I thank you for all your honest concerns. Really :)

Let's finish it tmr !

Super Ouch .. :(

It hits me like a pang of reality when i woke up .... :(

Fucking pain....

Heart beat...

My heart beat getting worst..not about the very pain feeling till i need to hold onto my chest. .

It just made me feel uncomfortable...Hard to breathe..Have to breathe in harder..Or is it that i am thinking too much? Hahaaa...my emotion makes it worst...yea...i have my emotions to control over me :( Better than to have no emotions at all right?

Sometimes in the morning...the way it beats, it's like so fast...so fast.. :(