The Secret To Staying With Someone Forever Is To Keep Falling In Love (And Never Stop) ...

1. We’re cursed to forever draw comparisons between new experiences and memories. It's NORMAL.

Just as much as it is advantageous, having the ability to prop two things side by side, compare them and analyze them, is also what damns us to a life riddled with sadness and disappointment.

Accepting that the lows in life are necessary for the highs isn’t built into our nature.

We are creatures who never want to lose. We never want to lessen our holdings, our place in the world and social circles.

We are individuals who fear loss. When we take a look at experiences we’ve had and emotions that we’ve felt, we compare them to what it is that we are feeling at the present moment.

While memories allow us to look back fondly, they simultaneously lessen the pleasure that we receive from what we are now experiencing.

2. Because we hate losing, we love the idea of always rising higher, always getting more, experiencing something novel and, above all else, improving. That's why we are on the LOSING team!

We’re in a constant competition with ourselves trying to outdo our pleasant moments in life with more pleasant and more memorable ones.

All of this, however, is an illusion – a trick that we play on ourselves. And it’s this constant pursuit of that higher high that will make you feel as if you’re constantly on the losing team.

3. To win in life and to form a successful partnership, you have to learn to appreciate the uniqueness of every moment you live. Every moment you spend with the person you love is a moment you will NEVER get back.

No two seconds in your life will ever be the same. No two moments will ever taste exactly like another, nor will you ever again live this very minute of your life.

We all live on borrowed time. The person you are this very second is not the person you were the last.

4. The time that you have with the one you love is time that you ought to cherish, regardless of how it makes you feel compared to how other moments in your life made you feel. 

What you once felt is gone. You can’t live in past, allowing fossilized emotions to influence your decisions. What you are feeling right now is the only time in your life that you will feel exactly that way.

This moment is unique. It isn’t duplicable and therefore it should be appreciated.

Because we take each moment for granted, we lose sight of the fact that love is a living thing that needs to be nurtured.

5. The secret to loving, lasting relationships is simple. You need to fall in love with the person all over again and do so as often as possible.

We all remember that moment when we come to realize that this stranger we met not too long ago holds great value to us, the moment we realize that we care about this person as much as we care about ourselves.

This magical moment will almost certainly never be as magical as it was the first time around.

The first time will always be the most intense of times if only because of that extra stimulant.

This, however, does not mean that falling in love over and over again with the same individual isn’t possible.

6. All it means is that falling in love with this person will never feel the same as it did the first time around. It will feel different each and every time and it will be for different reasons, under different conditions and circumstances.

What you cannot allow yourself to do, however, is to spend time comparing the way that you are now feeling to the way that you felt initially when Cupid struck his arrow.

Doing so will only nullify the emotions that you should be feeling. The past will drown out the present if you don’t learn to love the moment for what it is alone and nothing else.

Moved to tears for the first time ~

I'm moved to tears. The vibrating happiness in me was beyond words for the past few hours and I have been asking myself over and over. 

"Am I dreaming?" 

He told me I'm not.. :)

Thx you so much. Gosh. I couldn't believe this day would come and I didn't know it meant so much to me when my tears flow down. I didn't know how seriously I was in love with you. I didn't know.  

I was crying all the way home.. Gosh. 

It became so real to me now. Mixture of feelings. Happy and so scared.. I do clearly understand risks now. And I thank you for taking those risks with me. May we both endure all of them together.. :)

"I fear oblivion,” he said without a moment's pause. “I fear it like the proverbial blind man who's afraid of the dark.” ~ Fault In Our Stars 

Losing hope

You're tired of thinking...

I'm tired of asking... Waiting ... Hoping... 

I'm losing hope.

Inside the red line train to fish shop ~

You.

I looked out.

Those white plastic bag lined along the train tracks. They looked really like snow for an instant. I continued to stare and pretend that they were. It was a very beautiful sight. Suddenly, I thought of him. Gosh. I didn't know why when we have so many arguments and disagreements just hours earlier. I wished that he could be here sharing the same sight as me.

Wished hard that I can always know what he is thinking. 

I saw a young lad. He was in his school uniform. Looking fair and neat haircut. Have a very guai look. I wonder if he will be a fine gentleman when he grows up.. Those kind that will break a lot of girls' hearts. 

The fine lady was sitting beside him. She didn't wear heavy make ups. But near perfect eye shades and eye liners. Peachy lips. Fair complexion. Muscles and fat fairly proportionate.Very pretty for a lady at her age. It inspired me to become someone like her when i come to her age... =)

If all relationships have no perfections...

If this is true love..

If you truly listen..

If we both really listen... 

Prove it to each other!!!! 

.

I do.

Be strong, Sw. Don't look back.

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God it hurts

"Have you ever thought that it would be easier if it were someone you really love?"

You couldn't answer me.

In Time.

I had always.. always end up packing my room whenever we had our breaks.. Be it short breaks or mini ones..And as time goes by, it gave me different feelings. Different insights and it has served me as proper guidance throughout these years harboring so much feelings for you.

It was literally torture at first. I cannot even find myself deleting your messages. I cried so hard on that day when you told me to delete them all on the phone..so that i won't see. You have not made up your mind then. It was three years back now...I was hugging my knees crying beside the toilet door.

Another year passed. I tried hard to detach and I asked you not to contact me till I am ready to take you as a friend again.

Then those blockings came. When i blocked you, it wasn't meant to cease any sort of communication or two-ways communication with you but to forbid myself to get hurt. So that I will give up on you. So that you couldn't hurt me anymore. You hugged me and kissed me still. And yet you told me that you would look for other ppl and so should I. I was too blinded in those feelings then for its the only way to remain close with you. You had told me that you might have feelings for so many other girls..I did not want to listen to any of your explanations and so still I came back to you with a lasting hope. I couldn't stopped myself from missing you.

The second year passed.

I couldn't take it no more. And sm came by. He was the solution. Those chains that i put on myself felt lighter. And yet I was too accustomed to those chains that I couldn't bring myself to leave. Even though i was out with sm, be it hug or so.. I would always want to head home but not you. I didn't look forward going home whenever i was out with you. I continued wearing those chains praying one day you would unlock it.

You made me wait for another 6 months.

We started to really going out recognizing each other as bgr. Even though it was inofficial and unstable. But I am proud of it. I was proud of having you as my bf. I showered you lots and lots of love. I said it out hoping that you could feel it from me. I told you that i missed you and I really mean it. And i wished and prayed hard again for the same return of wishes. You replied me with silly emotions. The monkey emotions. It broke my heart. I wanted so much to be held hands and guided to cross the streets or walkways. You made fun of my lack in sense of directions. When all I tried was not walking behind you. I walked in front or beside. That's how we walked different directions. I hate it very much.

My birthday came. It was my first time celebrating my bday with my bf. And yet another two girls shared the same flower as mine. Rainbow-colored roses. And the portable charger was not even his choice. But all the while, I told myself not to let him know. Till one day, i choose to let you know. I am very appreciative of your effort in planning and his thoughts. It wasn't perfect but I had my happiest first bday celebration with you. It was one of my happiest date with you.

Another six months passed. Ppl started asking me and mh asked me out on new year. He wasn't aware that I was attached to you and I asked you if i can tell him. But you said the otherwise. That it would be hurtful for him. But I have already hurt him worst three years back. 

Valentine's day ard the corner. I didn't know if I should go out with you since you wanted to go into your cave. And we had always been arguing due to loads of matters. Due to not being able to let ppl know. Due to you not holding my hands. Due to once you went out alone with hl without letting me know. Due to me feeling that I am indifferent from a friend. It felt almost hopeless. In the end, I'm glad that I did and I was really happy and very touched. You touched my heart and I once felt hope and faith in our love again. I was really happy that you told me that it's alright tagging you in pics and telling friends that we are together when they asked. I am so happy that you could do that for me.

Another month passed. I started feeling better going out with you. You would hold my hands occasionally. You hugged me more often. You supported me throughout my uni studies. I was so grateful having you and you will assure me that you are always there. And yes. You did. So am I.

You took away a huge chunk of my heart till now. I feel like I was already binded to you. I love you so much. So much.

But those paranoid and insecurities throughout the years didn't left me. It was not that I don't trust you having no love feelings for them. You fail to provide me securities right from the start. It went worst when you would add students up at fb and even initiates talks with them. After being in an relationship with me. It was accumulating in me from day to day. Seeing you showering other girls compliments, asking them out in my face, talking with them so that you can know them more as friends. Yet again. You chose not to let them know that you are attached. I thought we have been through it and you will do the same like me. You disappointed me when you told me it was your personal and private life. When I should be sharing it with you already. That is the meaning of attached. Its not changing you. But you did not. How hurtful it is. To have already offered you to go out on that day instead or so. But you told someone else that you're boring. Instead of me. I feel like you are sick of me. I feel useless as a gf. Not being able to make her own bf comfortable enough to confide in her. 

 You have showered me love and care as a bf. I am really thankful for all the effort and all. I know you did make the effort. But with you having second thoughts when I asked you to let your friends know, don't you dare telling me that you are looking further in our relationship.

I could not bring myself to see past that now. Be it in time that you will but I am too broken to follow your pace already. I couldn't go in much further when you don't allow me to take up some of your space.

I love you, Baby and I really do. How much i wished that those insecurities will vanish and i would feel alright if you explained to me it will be. I am sorry again to have checked on your phone. I regretted but I guess things happened for a reason. It just told me that I couldn't accept ways like it is. And it is already part of you. Trust me, I love all of it. I have said it alot of times. I love your goods and bads. I aren't perfect, i know. But not this. Those that you give aren't enough prove. You just cannot overcome it. Being afraid to share your private life with me. It matters so much to me. 

God, please grant him good shape and health always. Make his headaches, dizziness, nausea and all discomforts to go away. Transfer his sadness and pain of losing me to me. Grant him good sleeps every night and if he really seeks comfort and enjoyment in life by knowing more friends, then grant him true friends and may he found someone he truly loves and she truly accepts him as who he is. 

And May my Pain Heals In Time.

Heartaches. Mini heat attack? or just simply ache?

All i know is pain. It burns.

Love.. Trust.. Understanding.. Forgive.. Forget

Lost.

Dear God, please help him in his sleeps, backaches..headaches..Grant him good health and loads of happiness. So be it that he is more comfortable that way.

I am searching for what is barely left.

.

"It is not what you see nor hear, it is always what you feel. . . Your heart speaks the truth . .don't deny it. When you learn how to die, you'll learn how to live. ."

What did my heart say?

One come after another. Trust

I do not know how to trust you. 

The feeling of betrayal of love. When you can just go friendly with other girls. I shouldn't see and hurt myself up. 

Its a wrong relationship when one could be jealous at other relationships...I never even dare to say it out about how much i am jealous when i can see couples smiling at each other.. when they walked past me holding hands..eyes locked at each other. Their loving texts and they know that they are just there for each other and no one else. They looked and felt so meant to be that they wouldn't care what ppl think about them. The shame and fame they would share them all. The pain and gain. Up till now. I have not minded about ur back or health.

You shared your routine with her. I do not know why you will do that to a friend. You told her that you are boring and what would u expect her to reply or do? What would she think about it when you sound so friendly and approaching? Look at how you app me and how you app your friends..

You held my hand just a little too shortly. And throughout you left my hand felt bare when i ended up walking behind you again. 

I'm really lost.... Clueless... Voiceless.