Today i am feeling like dead fish

I reached Singapore around 3.40am and went to school straight after finished packing. I felt like floating the whole day XD I don't like to say the word "tired' though coz it'll make it worse ^^

My return this time was really a memorable one. This was how it went . . .

I reached Ipoh around 5.30am. My dad brought us for dim sum. Although i don't feel like eating, i helped myself a little? I reached home around 6am and went straight into my beloved room and found my mum on my bed. She woke up and i hugged her ^^ She was a bit different compared to the last time i saw her. Lol. She looked abit young? Coz she had a Botox injection a month ago at Taiwan. We started chatting from 6am till 8 something. Actually, i was feeling like wanting to lie down. I wondered whether she is tired.. talking non stop and giving us every detail about what happen at Taiwan and how things going on with her and my new-to-be sister in law. My dad came down and the flame between them suddenly ignited =.=

It was my fault for not explaining things properly. Haiz... My mum wanted to bring me for Korean cuisine but my dad wanted to bring me to East Ocean instead.Both of them didn't explain to each other and expected everyone to follow each other's plan.It was a stupid quarrel. I'm really sorry.

We ended up following dad's plan. Actually,i don't mind what to have for dinner. I would even have seafood for dinner if you guys can sit down peacefully and have a dinner together. This was not the mainhighlight.

I was shocked this time. i didn't know that my grandma's health had deteriorated so badly. She can't see well now. She can't see me now. Everytime i talked to her, i moved close to her face and put her hands on my face. My heart scattered each time i looked her. I saw her scooping "air" when she thought that her spoon was full of rice when we were having dinner. My sister and i fed her for each meal we had together. She kept asking me to switch on the lights. Haiz...My heart really hurt. Yet , she was able to laugh and smile with us, showing no worries on her face. I salute her really. I wondered if she was scared each time she land her foot on the floor. *cries

I had alot of food this time i went back. I think i ate food worth for a week for my return this time. Ah...But it was really delicious. Durians...curry mee...etc etc...

I found myself kept complaining to my mum these two days. Everytime huiwen touch me, or beat me,i will go to my mum.. " Ah mi...you see ah mun..." Then my mum will say like "Ah mun...why bully your sister?..." I complained even for the tiniest thing XD I was really happy. i don't know why i enjoyed doing that but i like my mum pampering me. Haha.. I missed her too much i guess...back here. No. In fact everyone ^^

I realized that everyone was growing old. Haiz... I wanted to go back to Malaysia to work after i complete my studies in Singapore. My mum did not encourage me to do so .She said dad will disturb me. She asked me not to worry about them. It was not the case. I don't know how to explain to them that i wanted to be there for them whenever they need me. Just wanted to be near them. I know it will not do much good for me if i stayed in Malaysia. Next thing to consider is if i were to stay in Singapore to work, how about her? I know she don't mind. But it's my turn to say I mind. Really. I don't know. You want it like this? lol... Let me end my A level peacefully and SUCCESSFULLY first ^^

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Today is dear's first day working... i wonder how is she coping ? ^^ good luck ya ~

As for me,today's Maths paper was rather do-able? Hope can score well with dear's wishes ^^

I gotta start work now T-T

Today I am reminiscing alot. . .

Today's weather is very nice. . .^^ very windy. It even rained this morning when i was on my way to school. To me, it'll be a crime not to sleep in during this kind of weather XD I forcefully made myself wake up to go to school.

I have been reminiscing a lot lately and the weather made it worse. I miss my secondary school days alot. I miss shuyun, yook woon, syikin, and CC very very much.They are my close friends that stayed with me since form four. I missed their laughter and their silly jokes. I missed the times when we used to bring food from home and shared them between us. We would be having mooncakes together during lessons at these times back then. It was really fun. All of us would be having our afternoon naps at school during the times where Encik Azahari not entering the class. Huhu....Thank you guys.. so much for adding colours into my life. I pray that you guys find your own happiness and success in life.

These chilly days reminded me of the days i used to look forward to every letter that i would be collecting under her desk during my break times. I think that's when my "real" life starts - where sweet and bitter memories flows in. ^^ I appreaciate them a lot and that's what makes me stand so long until now.

I'm going back to Ipoh tomorrow as i would not be able to attend my dad's birthday dinner. My dad asked me to go back home at least once to see him before i have my A levels. Yea true ~ I miss home too.I missed my grandma and my aunties that dotes me and my sister very much . K mak ( meaning god mother ) - i started calling her like this since i was young ^^. She treated me and my sister like her own daughters. Without her, i think my childhood will be just black and white . I vowed that i'll repay them back once i started working. I'll work hard for that ^^

Although i'm not really close to my dad if i am to compare him with my mum, i thank him for making me what i am today. He was a great man afterall, i guess. It was not easy to have raised up me and my siblings. I had such great brothers that took good care of us. Who will not make mistakes in his lifetime , eh? Because of him, I try to do things as perfect as they can. I had the mentality to do things in the best way i can. He used to say " What for doing those, if you are not aiming for the best? " He implied the mentality " I must be the best! " in all of us. =.= Dunno good or bad. But the way my brothers handle things really amuse you. I used to trip on the floor after he finished mopping them. Not because the floor is still wet, it is because the floor is too clean and smooth. If you wear socks, worse still XD

I was busy preparing for the A levels exam lately. 109 days more to go... Aih
Kinda stressed too... Anyway, let's work hard everyone. Relax for a while before moving on. ^^

I had a stupid idea popped in my mind while i was drifting away from paying attention during lessons yesterday. I wanted to open a " tong sui" shop when i retire and i'm going to name it " hooi sum pu tou " XD

Gotta get back to work.


Yes i do ^^

Today I am...as usual?

I have alot in my mind. So, why don't i just blog it out? ^^

I didn't go to school on Monday and i didn't take the Physisc test.I stayed at home and studied with my sister.I felt kinda weird for not going to school the next day.Maybe I'm not used to skip school. Haha..Actually, both of us didn't plan to let our brother know that we didn't go to school. First thing that we did when we woke up around 6am was to hide our shoes and produce some "locking-the-gate" sound. We thought our plan was perfect and we went back to sleep UNTIL my cute adorable two years old nephew came into my room jumped onto me shouting "Dai Ku!".
I was like....=.= His mum came in and " Mei mei , you didn't go to school ah? " I told her that we overslept. Haha.. Sorry ah sou, we didn't mean to lie to you. Just that we don't feel like going to school that day. I took the Physics test on the following day i went to school.
It was rather do-able. Anyway, i don't think i'll have a good grade for that ^^ But at least i tried my best?

I've been counting down the days to A levels. I have a lot of preparations that are yet to be done until i can declare that i am ready for that. I don't know how to start coz there's too much topics in every subject. I craft out something that i intend to make myself follow for the next few weeks until my Prelims in August.

General Paper

1. read up current analogy before i sleep every night

2. do exercises from the revison package

3. do notes from Broader Perspective for every issue.

Chemistry

1. finish all exercises that the school prepares for us

2. study Inorganic for the upcoming test

3. revise exercises from tuition

4. try exercises on ten year series exam papers

Geography

1. study up hydrology for upcoming test

2. copy exercises form lectures and tutorials and study them

3. do exercises from compilation of questions

Maths

1. redo my Common Test paper and last year's stuff

2. do exercises from revison package

3. finish up what school prepares

Physics

1. finish up exercises that the teaher prepares

2. try ten year series questions

A final touch up by revising all the notes before my Prelims and That's it.

Presently, i should be doing more instead of reading ^^ Prelims is important because i can use the results to apply for university before my actual A levels results come out.

I'm sure you won't understand all that are stated above. I just want to clear my mind and try to organize how i should start of with my revision every week. Ah......stress desu ne? Hope that i won't break down ^^

Oh ya... I have got back nearly all my Common test results. T-T

It was rather bad i think. To think i have prepare that much or is it not enough as what my friend said? Haha.. i don't know. Heck care what other people think ^^

I got a Subpass ( nearly fail grade ) for Maths. I failed my General paper. =.= And that was the worst paper. To my suprise, i actually passed my Chemistry !!!! I got an E... hahaha.. There were only 5 people who passed in my class ^^ I haven't even received back my Geography paper and Physics. Aih...Sure no hope.

Today i received biscuits from my Vietnamese friend. I was really happy when i found a note hidden inside the plastic bag.

" Everything will be fine in the end." - Anh

thank you so much. . . Sorry for such a heavy post... ^^

take care ^^

OH great. I received a message that i'll be having my physics exam tomorrow. No one informed me until now. And DAMN IT ! It's nearly 12am now !!!!! %^&*#$^&*

Today I am tearfully happy...

I'm home. . .I'm not tired suprisingly. Or i will feel its effect next morning when i wake up for school ^^

Time flied for these three days.I didn't do much things but i didn't really care. I have done a lot for the past weeks and i have rested well this weekend - in terms of - not touching notes? haha...I have gained enough energy to fight on for another 4 more months? Hope so ^^ Thanks for coming, everyone. Hope you guys enjoy your trip this time. Sorry for the wrong turnings and directions. Made you guys walk more with all the luggages. Gomen gomen.

I have learnt alot this weekend.I attended the CF held at Down Town East with dear and her friends.I was able to see alot of stuff that i haven't seen before and get to know alot of people from all perspective of life. That was really fun. I enjoyed myself alot ^^ It was my first time attending an event like this. I didn't really recognize nearly all the characters there and I'm not an artistic person.I don't really know what is the quality of this event as i can't compare.I look forward for this coming december Comic Fiesta that will be held in Malaysia. I guess i will be able to attend it since my A levels will be over by that time. Yea ! Hope i can see more that time. I look forward to see my dear and her friends to cosplay again. They are so yeng and profesional.It was nice talking to them too ^^ Do come again to singapore and i'll organize things better.

Basically, i have another few more weeks to school before i start my Prelims. Then, it'll be study break at home for about a month or so before my A levels. Please grant my wish, God. I really wanted to do better this time. One last time before i end my pre-university days. I wanted to enrol into the local university here so that i don't have to go so far and i don't want to go back to malaysia to study for some reasons. I don't want to be far from you. It's pain each time when both of us need to be separated. I didn't know that it's so deep. Sorry if i was too demanding. Sorry if i depended on you too much.

Ka yao and congrats again for getting a job.Till we meet again,everyone ^^

Today I am ok ok XD

Aih. . . school reopened yesterday and all start over again. From waking up at 6am , going to school and tuition classes. Except that the revision mode is on. All the syllabus has been covered by all the subjects before the school holidays. This gives me a scary feeling though. I received back some of my results. This is kinda demoralizing and I don't even know how i'll make it this coming year end. My friend said something that fired me up.

My friend : You all didn't work hard enough. ( me and the others are there as well and of coz she scored much better than me )

Me : How do you know that we didn't work hard ? How do you gauge the amount of hard work?

My friend : Your results la. It's only yourself that think that you have work hard enough only wad.

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I was speechless. She was so right. That means i have to work harder when i thought it is hard enough. I hate the heavy feeling. It was like a tunnel with no ends. You are just blindly moving forward. I really don't know but I will move on even though i don't know what lies ahead. I don't like give up and it's not that i'm going to since i have come this far.
I just don't know how to explain to my brothers and parents. It sucks . Really ^^

The battle has begun and i'm all for it. Stupid A level.

By the way, it's good that she is coming. ^^ I have to gather some strength before i move on.I hope that she'll enjoy her visit.I don't know whether i should be there but i'll be there even though uneeded. My sister asked me to be selfish abit sometimes and i guessed this time i will. I hope that i won't be taken over by my emotions XD


May my heart always as peace as flowing water so that no feelings can bind me.
I miss you

Ah....Today I am ..er..?

Since nearly all my friends wanted me to do one ^^
I do keep a diary for myself during my secondary school days. This is kinda same but just can't add in too much personal stuff eh? A place to allow myself to pour my daily thoughts in. A better way of expressing myself without having my friends to hear some nonsenses and making their life hard thinking how to answer me XD

School's going to start soon. Thanks to the Youth Day that is celebrated in Singapore that enable me to rot for another day. I really need to do something productive soon or else I am really going to lose my sanity. Doing nothing and sleeping for more than 8 hours. I don't really like to allow myself to rest for too long. The most important is A levels is only four more months to go .

The stupidest thing is i don't even know when i'll be having my Physics Common test =.=
My physics tutor haven't inform us yet. So i cannot officially declare that my Common test is over . I don't know but my Physics is all screwed up because of him. I haven't even passed a Physics test before under his supervision considering that i got A2 for Physics in secondary school exams. Aih...

That's too much for the first post, i think XD
Gotta start work and get my brain to work ^^ . That's all for now.