The Heart ~

Heart is a very miraculous thing. It beats by its own. An involuntary organism that the body have no control over. Except that you have a strong mind over your own heart.

A frog's heart will continue to beat for a while even though it is detached from its own body.

Your heart reckon's the truth and sees what your eyes can't see. Your heart listens to things that are unspoken... I saw ..... today and my heart goes all peace :)

Is your mind stronger than your heart? I have the will but i don't have the heart to do it... I couldn't bring myself to do it... good thing or bad thing? I don't think i want to care about it anymore.. I am just going to step forward even though i am in the dark. Just like the courage that my grandmother had when she lost her eye sight.. :) She didn't even said that she was scared before. Not even once.

Ah... finally i am having my last paper of this semester... Things were definitely tougher this year. I went to for a job interview today. I don't have a choice but i have to work during weekends. I want so much to just concentrate fully on my studies and get good grades. Haha. . . I feel quite redundant these days. I don't have much mission or goals in life. A life without goals is kind of tough for me..but it's enjoyable to live without one :)

I have been living like that for years since i realized this part of myself.

Bad times will pass and good times will come !!! Use the good times to recover and stay strong from the bad times so that you are prepared when bad times strike again !!!

It ain't about what's lying on the other end.

And it ain't about how fast i am going to get there.

All I need to do is just keep pushing on !

..................All is what i have missed..............

..............All is what i miss.............

......All is what i yearn.....

.All is what i longed.

. . .

what are your longings? :)

I promise you that i will come out .. okay ? ^^

~*_"- a LiTtLe of sW ~*-"~

Time flies. . I am officially 21 now. And i feel older than that. LOL

Girls at 21 should be sweet and worry-free ! 21 is still considered a small age to me .. A girl and lady intermediate :)

I used to get beatings and scoldings from my dad. .All sorts of rough scoldings that can come from anything at all. Even on my birthday!!! I grew up taking up all those. Beatings. Scoldings. Torture. Disgusting Touches that i don't want to remember at all. Some part of these memories were lost. My mind protects me really well sometimes :)

But he is a good teacher. HE made me to what i am today. What have past have already past. He is already so sick. I think i have forgiven him since he is my father, afterall :)

Plus, he might have worse parents than me. I heard my grandmother ( father-side) is a torture freak. LOL

My birthday were all dull until i met KM. . that add colorful memories in my life. She celebrated every year of my birthday with me until i go to Sg. .I thank you :)

A lot of things really happen. I went through the first phase of my life. "Teenage" gone ==

I believe the change is something that one needs in life. The change is always good. Everything happens for a good reason :)

I look forward. I really look forward on how or what i may become one day. What further changes that i will come across in my life :)

I am just a plain-simple girl that just want a simple-happy life who gets to have a simple-good laugh everyday :)

i am sw !

23 August 2011 ~

I had a wonderful 21st birthday . despite all the tears !

Thanks you so so much.. will write further more about it after tmr's fucking paper :)

Omg.. I'm 21 already ....

Jiayou, sw ! Fuck it. really....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My day started with a Mr.Bean custard bun :D It was nice ^^

Since zhiming was absent, Imran called down from T14 and i think they on the loudspeaker of the phone. . Robinson wished me birthday . .and ended up birthday wishes coming one by one. It was really touching. . that they did so much !!!!

Kelvin bought me my "first in lifetime Big breakfast Deluxe" from Mc Donalds. It was rather okay. Not as good as it seems to be. But thanks !!!! OMG . . I was really bursting with happiness.

Too bad i dun own a camera :(

The chinese physician even bought me a whole cake !!! I was shocked, really. . She is really compassionate and kind towards her patients. She is a good doctor. I thought she bought me a slice ==

We had Pasta Mania for dinner. . I didnt know spending your birthday with your friends can feel so good. That was my first time spending birthdays with friends. Cos my birthday always fall on exam period :(

Hmmm. . I wasnt really feeling goood that day due to some personal reasons...But i am really glad that zhiming tried hard to make this day as memorable and fun for me. . I really appreciate it :)

I received alot of presents this year !

Cute dog :D

Rocher !!!! XD ~ both from zm :)

Geradine's Hershey Choco Candle :) love you, geradine !!

Hl 's star band :D

The floral bag and the floor mat from my brother and sister-in-law . . :)

Ta-da !!! All for my AwESoME 21st Birthday !!!!

I am scared of being happy. Because once you are too happy and got used to the feeling, and once all the sad things that come after. I might not be able to take it anymore.

So, can i go happy ? All the way i want myself to be? Can i not be afraid once of getting lost in the pool of happiness?

A lvl gathering ..

i pray for your happiness, joy !

Anh and Hong Ling ~
my princess XD ~

I took naps in between and I found that i really absorb better :)

Guess i will be doing this for the next coming four papers..

I can even fall sleep today during song transition . .from one song to the next when i was studying..

I can even fall asleep between Dover and Clementi... ==

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was great meeting up with Hong ling and the others. . Everyone has their own life and paths... Hmmm... Glad that we still stick together... I wish everyone all the best in their future undertakings... ^^ We grown up alot.. and glad that we didnt change much.. LOL

After my exams,

i want to have a good run. i want to have good sleeps. i want to go temple. i want to watch movies. and i want to eat !!!!

i want to go buy flower pot for my plant. it has shown signs of dying !!!! OH GOSH !!!

will get a container for my 小白 also :D

Life is a great teacher;

And i am going to be

A obedient cute dog and learn well !!!

我只是善文

"Terrified to remember. Forbidden to forget. . ."

Hand next time dont go so itchy, sw .... ==

Dun you ever ask me to delete them again !

I will delete them myself when the time comes!!!

Teadots rock !

Dan dan mien ! Xiao Loong bao ! Red Bean Xiao Long Bao !

And Chewy grass Jelly at Ding Tai Fung !!! Forget to mention a whole day of Teadots !!!! XD

OMg. . Today was the best !!! It has been really long since i have all these light-hearted feelings. . It has been really long since i posted something happy ! I was really happy. Purely :)

Too bad that i don't own a camera.. :/ I will be missing all these feelings very soon. Being able to capture these every moments are my very reason why i like photography :)

I felt like Birthday today XD

Yea. .it should be made today ! Since i think i wont be feeling so "up" after today . .Haiz...

It was huge achievement today . .8 hours of solid studies. .Teadots rocks !

Decided ! Go there again next week to study Organic Chemistry ! XD

It was really a miracle place. . hahaha. .i understood my Polymer Fabrication Processes module from there too ^^

On my way back, I picked up a "green tea" bookmark also. .I have such good destiny with green tea today . . LOL

Thanks for the day,man. . i enjoyed all the times spent with you really. . :)

It was really comfortable talking with you and eating all these with the right person ! Let's eat the duck rice next time ! My sis don't like really like all these.... D:

yea. . i just want to have these same feelings everyday !

Tonight's moon was nice too ^^ A great day !!!

covet

Accept our difference . .

It was rather sad.. that you and me were so different now.

We branched into different parts now when we came from one.

Walk your path well and i will do the same for myself.

Just remember i will be there for you when you need me. .

i will learn to detach. .

Guess it's time for me to slack down a little... and concentrate on what i should be concentrating . . ^^

Is it because i complained too much till i got used to it now?

It made me like so weak now....

My heart felt all heavy today . . plus the back pain. . fever and sore throat. .felt tired as i have only 4 hours of sleep last night.

It was not a comfortable one. I kept hearing noises... ==

" something" was searching stuff inside my room. . It was quite scary. . It took me some efforts to sleep. I went to sleep when the noise died down. I don't like the feeling of cold all of the sudden and the trembling i got . .It was hard to control.. to not be scared. To force myself to sleep and not to be scared. .

I miss you alot, popo. . so much !

Why am i an adult so early?

hey, you. .

You heard me but are you really LISTENING to what i am saying?!

I don't FEEL anymore. It's tiring when i need to repeat all these to you so many times. And i don't want to repeat this anymore and please take it seriously. I want to study first . And i just want to do this at this moment. I want to complete my Diploma for the very least. I have enough in my mind already.

I am doing this the wrong way. I don't mean to hurt you this much and i am tired of breaking up people's heart. As well as my own's. I don't like this. SORRY.

Hmm. . baby having fever all of the sudden....

I am awake in the middle of the night....again..

Baby having fever all of the sudden and keep crying almost all night today ...

Mayb it's due to the growing teeth phase :)

LUcky that my back didnt torture at these times... Huiwen kept coughing... Keep asking her to eat vita C, she doesn't want to eat .... She told me that she wanted to fall sick since she seldom fall sick =_= True though.... I fell sick more frequently than her... But i cannot afford to fall sick now... Exam coming's soon...

Going back to Ipoh this weekend...Will get all busy again...I wonder how dirty will the aquarium be this time...How many fishes still left? Sorry mum and dad... Should have washed your bathroooms before i come back to Sg earlier...But I am very tired whenever i go back =( I can fall asleep almost in an instant peacefully... How long has it been since i have some peaceful sleep??

I want breaks desperately.... Because i just can't stop. I don't know how. I don't dare. Just as much as i want everything to just stop for me... not even for awhile... I can't breathe already !

My phone dropped into toilet bowl yesterday . . . I saw it submerged into the water T.T

I was like , " God are you really doing this to me? " At that instant, I numbed all my feelings flowing in.. just as taking money out to treat my back...Numb it all and faster recover . .

Sw, you should know your back are feeling better now because you went to see doc last week. You cannot deny that you need it.

I should get back to sleep before the baby cry again... just a few more hours to rest . .

I can do it !