The transition from day to night time.
I didn't like it since i was young. I wonder why.
Sunday, November 12, 2017
To me 10 years ago
This is my 10th year in Singapore.
To the me 10 years back,
- It is really okay to be hurt, and sad. Things will ultimately go the way it should be. If that person is meant to stay, she will. So be thankful that she has taught you precious lessons in life and grow up with you within the short and fast phrase of teenage.
- Please go back for your grandmother's birthday dinner. It has became a regret now that you didn't. Just because of the long and tiring journey. The emptiness of the house that attracts. Just don't. Please go back to her as it was the last birthday that she's had. That last phone call, please treasure it. I miss you so much, ah Po.
- Please call back to ah di once in a while. No matter what. You will regret it badly in the future. Trust me. Make it an effort to bring him to Singapore for a visit. You have the ability to do so. Don't belittle yourself as a 17 year old girl. You are someone bigger.
- Making mistakes is fine. Just continue to pick up yourself and walk your journey. Continue to make beautiful mistakes and make your life as beautiful and colorful. After this, you will definitely, enjoy your Poly days. You no longer have to sit alone during lectures and tutorials anymore.
- Continue to take care of your sister. Take care of her more. Mend her wounds. As much as you can. That she has accumulated ever since. Guide her more. It's your job. You are her sister. Till she is capable by herself, having another person to take over your job, it is YOUR JOB.
- Stay as hard as you can. And Enjoy study alot alot. You will appreciate the essence out of it.
- Reach out more to people. They are not as bad as you thought. Some people meant to stay ; some just aren't.
Life is not that bad 10 years later. Stay happy :)
To the me 10 years back,
- It is really okay to be hurt, and sad. Things will ultimately go the way it should be. If that person is meant to stay, she will. So be thankful that she has taught you precious lessons in life and grow up with you within the short and fast phrase of teenage.
- Please go back for your grandmother's birthday dinner. It has became a regret now that you didn't. Just because of the long and tiring journey. The emptiness of the house that attracts. Just don't. Please go back to her as it was the last birthday that she's had. That last phone call, please treasure it. I miss you so much, ah Po.
- Please call back to ah di once in a while. No matter what. You will regret it badly in the future. Trust me. Make it an effort to bring him to Singapore for a visit. You have the ability to do so. Don't belittle yourself as a 17 year old girl. You are someone bigger.
- Making mistakes is fine. Just continue to pick up yourself and walk your journey. Continue to make beautiful mistakes and make your life as beautiful and colorful. After this, you will definitely, enjoy your Poly days. You no longer have to sit alone during lectures and tutorials anymore.
- Continue to take care of your sister. Take care of her more. Mend her wounds. As much as you can. That she has accumulated ever since. Guide her more. It's your job. You are her sister. Till she is capable by herself, having another person to take over your job, it is YOUR JOB.
- Stay as hard as you can. And Enjoy study alot alot. You will appreciate the essence out of it.
- Reach out more to people. They are not as bad as you thought. Some people meant to stay ; some just aren't.
Life is not that bad 10 years later. Stay happy :)
Wednesday, October 18, 2017
:(
Too tired these days. Till no words can be fathomed ; Till no feelings can be formed. What is it that I am tired of?
Why is it so funny or weird? Tears flow easier than laughter.
Did I had it that bad? What is it?
I am so confused and unsure.
Help.
Why is it so funny or weird? Tears flow easier than laughter.
Did I had it that bad? What is it?
I am so confused and unsure.
Help.
Saturday, July 15, 2017
Sunday, July 2, 2017
Why?????????????????????
I guess I will crumble at the slightest give-away. Be it the necklace. The watch. The laminated picture of us. And even the date of my own convocation last year. And many more.
So, yes. Keep it all away. Lock it all up.
Before I crumbled down all the way again. Yeah, tears do still flow.
Why?????????????????
So, yes. Keep it all away. Lock it all up.
Before I crumbled down all the way again. Yeah, tears do still flow.
Why?????????????????
Monday, June 19, 2017
Monday, May 29, 2017
Fading Edge
Stay strong, sw..
Mensus shud be coming in another 2-3 weeks time. But damn, my emotions.. got so emo.. and bitter.. Tears just flow ... Been quite eager to cry today. Without any reasons. Just empty. Very empty. I do not feel like talking with anyone at all.
Yet, deep down, I cannot deny I did wish for someone to share my time, my emotions, so that i could no longer felt this abyss of emptiness. I crave to enjoy a good movie and a good meal with a good company and with a sound mind and body. Just take all these emptiness away. I try hard not to wish for that person to be you. Because i know it will never be possible between us anymore. Not possible for me to accept you as it is anymore for I had already reallyWished Hard that you would chase - for each girl love to be continuously chased and I can tell you the return will be ten fold for most guys when girls deep down felt loved.
For as the chase or honeymoon period was never a long period for the both of us. Till now, Ive Already wished hard enough as I gave myself till 27th May. Things meant to beShall Be.
You're not alone thinking things might just be a fluke if we got back together. You're not alone feeling scared of the possible pain or hurt. You're not alone thinking whether things will remain the same as it is. You're not alone whether thinking all these will happen again.Am I not there facing these with you? Yet, I walked back with such strong feelings. It was the peak of it during these past months. Yet i know, it is almost like a Sin to Ask, a Sin to Want. It came back bitting thrice. Painful. Hurtful. Do not ever lower your self-worth for anyone. Even for me. But I thank you for being who you are all these years. You are who you are :)
I know I was the one to be constantly leaving and you're the one that's been constantly pulling me back. Take it as my fault for leaving someone like you. Someone that has held my dearest feeling. It was hard for both. It was so hard for you, i know. But then, what's a relationship without proper lasting happy feelings? Is that not a sign that we both didn't suited each other rather than lying to ourselves that things will get better if both had put in enough effort? I really do not know.
Is it really that hard to have someone to put me first? To held me gently, closely to their heart? That's the reason i kept playing the Song " Closer" by the Chainsmoker when you asked me why i keep playing this song... Cos I would really love for someone to hold me closer. Needed that comfort especially when I were facing such harsh phase in my life. My initial phase of work life. It was beyond harsh. Every day was never an easy day. So as now. Every hope and wish and fantasy that I've had for you, constantly been a harsh slap on myself. As i know it will never happen nor I want to ask or wait for it to happen. Tiring. Losing. Fading feelings.
And i believe strongly one day, I will no longer feel this way. I believe one day, All These will be left behind. Breaking myself to rebuild a Stronger sw. A Fading Sw, Right now, What did I've got to lose?
Stay strong sw. Do not fade away.
Mensus shud be coming in another 2-3 weeks time. But damn, my emotions.. got so emo.. and bitter.. Tears just flow ... Been quite eager to cry today. Without any reasons. Just empty. Very empty. I do not feel like talking with anyone at all.
Yet, deep down, I cannot deny I did wish for someone to share my time, my emotions, so that i could no longer felt this abyss of emptiness. I crave to enjoy a good movie and a good meal with a good company and with a sound mind and body. Just take all these emptiness away. I try hard not to wish for that person to be you. Because i know it will never be possible between us anymore. Not possible for me to accept you as it is anymore for I had already really
For as the chase or honeymoon period was never a long period for the both of us. Till now, Ive Already wished hard enough as I gave myself till 27th May. Things meant to be
I know I was the one to be constantly leaving and you're the one that's been constantly pulling me back. Take it as my fault for leaving someone like you. Someone that has held my dearest feeling. It was hard for both. It was so hard for you, i know. But then, what's a relationship without proper lasting happy feelings? Is that not a sign that we both didn't suited each other rather than lying to ourselves that things will get better if both had put in enough effort? I really do not know.
Is it really that hard to have someone to put me first? To held me gently, closely to their heart? That's the reason i kept playing the Song " Closer" by the Chainsmoker when you asked me why i keep playing this song... Cos I would really love for someone to hold me closer. Needed that comfort especially when I were facing such harsh phase in my life. My initial phase of work life. It was beyond harsh. Every day was never an easy day. So as now. Every hope and wish and fantasy that I've had for you, constantly been a harsh slap on myself. As i know it will never happen nor I want to ask or wait for it to happen. Tiring. Losing. Fading feelings.
And i believe strongly one day, I will no longer feel this way. I believe one day, All These will be left behind. Breaking myself to rebuild a Stronger sw. A Fading Sw, Right now, What did I've got to lose?
Stay strong sw. Do not fade away.
Wednesday, May 24, 2017
20.26.18.22.3.26.18.22
good to come here at times for a visit. But let's hope i don't have to come back here anymore. I can do this.
There's no if, there's only when.
And I will Go Out to make it happen.
We Learn as we Grow,
We Grow as we Learn.
(my dad told me this when i was a kid) - its so true
And I will Go Out to make it happen.
We Learn as we Grow,
We Grow as we Learn.
(my dad told me this when i was a kid) - its so true
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
When you have loved that person so much and at the same time, hurt that person so much.
I have lost the right to say anything at all. I know i didn't stay but would u stay if you have lost feelings for the other till ur heart almost shifted and it stunned me out? You started to blame me and going thru the hurting process.. and in the process, you are hurting me too. You didn't even know what do you want. What I worried most did surfaced.. We have too much bad bloods. Sorry to have hurted you so much. You didn't give me much happy memories to forget the unhappy ones. You have had your own thinking of treating that person perfectly. That wasn't the perfect I wanted. That perfect seldom carve a smile on my face much.
As usual, I am always not a priority. Thats what this short few weeks of interactions with you have thought me. Or is it unfair to measure or judge with just via these few weeks of madness.
You know ,today i walked to dover and even walked the bv path. I felt what u felt. I told myself if nothing is happening after i finished walking this walk, so be it. Then we walk separate ways.
Ive asked and asked again. I even imagined myself hugging u - didnt let u go. I am even in my proper attire now wanting to go over. But then will it work? We have too much bad bloods and bad memories to erase. Ive had alot. Alot. You made me waited for you for 3 years. In the process, you have hurted me so so much.. without u realizing. I couldn't feel your love for me. I don't know how u express to that person or show her. I just do not know.
It felt nice how each time when u turned back. You hugged me before u go. I can feel u turning back for me. I was like finally. Why only now? Can u remain this way?
Isn't it going to be the same all the way again.
i will just take the mrt ride. I have no rights since you are still hurting. i shoulnt mess up your process of letting go or hurting. I will not. go away.
I have lost the right to say anything at all. I know i didn't stay but would u stay if you have lost feelings for the other till ur heart almost shifted and it stunned me out? You started to blame me and going thru the hurting process.. and in the process, you are hurting me too. You didn't even know what do you want. What I worried most did surfaced.. We have too much bad bloods. Sorry to have hurted you so much. You didn't give me much happy memories to forget the unhappy ones. You have had your own thinking of treating that person perfectly. That wasn't the perfect I wanted. That perfect seldom carve a smile on my face much.
As usual, I am always not a priority. Thats what this short few weeks of interactions with you have thought me. Or is it unfair to measure or judge with just via these few weeks of madness.
You know ,today i walked to dover and even walked the bv path. I felt what u felt. I told myself if nothing is happening after i finished walking this walk, so be it. Then we walk separate ways.
Ive asked and asked again. I even imagined myself hugging u - didnt let u go. I am even in my proper attire now wanting to go over. But then will it work? We have too much bad bloods and bad memories to erase. Ive had alot. Alot. You made me waited for you for 3 years. In the process, you have hurted me so so much.. without u realizing. I couldn't feel your love for me. I don't know how u express to that person or show her. I just do not know.
It felt nice how each time when u turned back. You hugged me before u go. I can feel u turning back for me. I was like finally. Why only now? Can u remain this way?
Isn't it going to be the same all the way again.
i will just take the mrt ride. I have no rights since you are still hurting. i shoulnt mess up your process of letting go or hurting. I will not. go away.
Saturday, May 6, 2017
Help
Hey yo feelings, dont come back if he's not ready. If you know you cannot undone what you had done. Its been too hurtful for both sides.
But then, finally, I suddenly stun...when i see ur name, a familiar name popped out in my head. My ming ming...Oh feelings gradually returning but why now? Why then now? Will us both be happy? If No, God Please Stop it. For Us Both. Be it clear.
Help
Help.
I am just a girl. Can i not be strong
Why do i need to go thru this
But then, finally, I suddenly stun...when i see ur name, a familiar name popped out in my head. My ming ming...Oh feelings gradually returning but why now? Why then now? Will us both be happy? If No, God Please Stop it. For Us Both. Be it clear.
Help
Help.
I am just a girl. Can i not be strong
Why do i need to go thru this
Sunday, April 30, 2017
God
I just woke up like an hour ago. After meeting up w him last night.
I must have had fever last night. I remembered feeling really cold. And i have been dreaming for some time. Weird dream but you weren't in it. But parts of the dream reminded me of you - lucheon meat and hotdogs. I have actually stopped eating hotdogs or luncheon meat... These are the two things that reminded me the most of you. These are things that I'd love eating w you every weekend but at the same time hoping that you will eat them lesser each day to avoid processed food..
I hate watching the dusk. From the day time becoming night. I hated it cos it was somehow lonely. And empty. I am still scared of the dark. I hate watching the rain alone. Cos it feels too sad to watch the rain alone. But I love the smell of the rain and the freshness it brings after that. The rain makes my hair smells nicer. All these two are happening now. And I don't want to cry. My eyes are painful. I am very empty and scared now. The sky is getting dark.
Why? Why did it turn out to be this way, God? Why is it that I could not return his love? I would very much loved to love him back. Love him harder and harder each day. But why god? He's my pillar of support in everything. Yet why? Why do i not feel secure?
Your back must be damn painful last night. You must be damn painful last night.
If its going to be this painful, Make sure it will be smtg good for the both of us in the end.
Help.
Help.
Help.
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Help.
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Help.
I must have had fever last night. I remembered feeling really cold. And i have been dreaming for some time. Weird dream but you weren't in it. But parts of the dream reminded me of you - lucheon meat and hotdogs. I have actually stopped eating hotdogs or luncheon meat... These are the two things that reminded me the most of you. These are things that I'd love eating w you every weekend but at the same time hoping that you will eat them lesser each day to avoid processed food..
I hate watching the dusk. From the day time becoming night. I hated it cos it was somehow lonely. And empty. I am still scared of the dark. I hate watching the rain alone. Cos it feels too sad to watch the rain alone. But I love the smell of the rain and the freshness it brings after that. The rain makes my hair smells nicer. All these two are happening now. And I don't want to cry. My eyes are painful. I am very empty and scared now. The sky is getting dark.
Why? Why did it turn out to be this way, God? Why is it that I could not return his love? I would very much loved to love him back. Love him harder and harder each day. But why god? He's my pillar of support in everything. Yet why? Why do i not feel secure?
Your back must be damn painful last night. You must be damn painful last night.
If its going to be this painful, Make sure it will be smtg good for the both of us in the end.
Help.
Help.
Help.
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Help.
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Help.
Friday, April 28, 2017
My sky ~
My sky. Reach High. Fly high.
The more I talk to ppl. I absorb and learn more. Each of them has their own life stories to tell and experiences to share and at the same time by talking to them, it will somewhat gives me my value of existence and I am able to be reminded again by my own life principles and teachings. As the years went by, without me realizing, I have been thru so so much...
1. The world is always changing and moving. If you choose to remain there, you will get stuck and remain at the same spot for the rest of your lives. Thats why, I will not be too lazed at one spot and continuously searching for improvement within myself. I shall aim to continuously upgrade myself so that I won't fear of any changes with the Society and World I am in.
2. Cultivate good habits for myself. Remain Positive and Focused. Never procrastinate.
3. Don't give a damn about ppl. I will give hell lot of effort to find out what are my aims and objectives but i don't give hell damn about what ppl thinks of my objectives.
4. Be Bold and Never afraid of things that I don't understand.
5. I will be kinder to myself. Cos no one is gonna be kind to me. This is the world that we are currently living in. Sad fact.
6. Be a better someone than yesterday.
7. Doubt Myself Lesser.
Wednesday, April 19, 2017
Sad and crap
For just once, a glimpse regret creep in and i managed to stop it before it got worst. And that's scary. Cos i need my Focus. I need and I want to be Successful in this line.
For once, lucky for me I managed to pull myself up. Stay Fucking Strong, sw. Do not ever let those ppl pin you down. Work hard. Stay Focus.
Drink up tonight and tmr will be okay again. Look far, sw. Look up and far.
Too tired.
Too late.
Too bad.
Too sad.
Friday, April 14, 2017
my own fight
I am being thru hell lots of hardships now do u know that fucking hell.. Why really why? Why did it fucking fail still in the end fucking hell.. The dearest you that i have fucking love for so many god damn years.. Its been so tough waiting for you.. so tough just to be loved back finally. You fuckin conveniently forget a single fuck about it initially, making all of it worst. You fucking idiot that didnt give a fuck to your own future. You want to continue the life you're having for the rest of your life? Really? I don't feel appreciated at all when I were with you. Used to help you with your house chores so that you can praised me abit. Let me feel that youre thxful and damn thxful, wishing hard that you will reward me for it. Or just some returns. Its just a hell no for so many years. Then suddenly, after we broke up, you started feeling it? Really? You start missing me? How is it fair? How is it fair for me that Ive shared my whole with you?
How does it fucking fair after this, I need to get thru all these fucking shits? Do you know what I have been thru? Its pathethic do u know? Its torturing me inside out. And I will never let anyone know. Never ever. I will bring this to my grave. Fucking rely on no one. Stay strong ,sw.
Fuck today must be too damn tired. Fucking tired and sick. Why not I get cancer in someone's place and may that person that needs life more than me fucking live.
I feel that i have no right at all to miss you at all. Fucking no and fucking no that i will come to love again. Fucking no
How does it fucking fair after this, I need to get thru all these fucking shits? Do you know what I have been thru? Its pathethic do u know? Its torturing me inside out. And I will never let anyone know. Never ever. I will bring this to my grave. Fucking rely on no one. Stay strong ,sw.
Fuck today must be too damn tired. Fucking tired and sick. Why not I get cancer in someone's place and may that person that needs life more than me fucking live.
I feel that i have no right at all to miss you at all. Fucking no and fucking no that i will come to love again. Fucking no
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
Pathetic
I will learn my lesson..
Pls only be true to yourself here, sw... Damn you..
Pls only be true to yourself here, sw... Damn you..
Human are really very weak and fragile..all of them slowly revealing their ugliness to me..
Why? Fucking disheartening
I will never allow myself to be on the same level as them. Bear this in mind, sw. Go and reach for the top.
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
FUCKING WAKE UP
HOW FUCKING LOW MORE TO GO!!!!!???
HOW FUCKING MORE LOW THAT I HAVE TO GO!!!????
That's what kept screaming in my heart once my father's Volvo crashed or bumped into a stationary car... I don't even know how to put it..My first accident with my brother as my passenger. The feeling sucks... I was lost. Like totally lost case there.. What if anything happen to my bro? I will never forgive myself. I will never ever offer to drive anymore until I have the confidence to.. till i have the skills to... AND I WILL NEVER LET THIS FEAR CONSUME ME!!!!!!!
Life's sure HELLA TOUGH. But I've woke up this time. WHAT HAVE I FUCKING DONE!!!???? OR ACHIEVED? WHEN THINGS THAT I HAVE ALL DONE IS ALL FUXKING 21 WHEN IM ALREADY FUXKING 27 THIS YEAR!!!!!! Please wake up, SW. YOU have achieved NOTHING at AGE 27 GODDAMNIT!!!!
I will work very very hard and achieve something by the end of this year. If not, I have really lost my meaning in life... I dunno what the hell I am living for... why the hell my mum bring me out to this world for...humans are so scary to begin with... Too selfish. She didn't asked me whether my brother and I are okay.. Besides, thinking about the $$$ to repair the car. I don't blame her. I'm used to it anyway.
Just tonight, i will allow myself to weep or get teary just for this.. After this, I will be fucking alright tmr
Friday, March 17, 2017
Hang in there sw!!!
Client postponed the meeting again. After two hours of waiting.. Oh well. I walked in the rain again.. Sucks - I am wearing white. Refreshing if no one is watching..
Yeah!!! F them all!!!!
Integrity!!! It will be my main principle in my job
I will bite and strive through!!! Tough but I will hang on!!!
Do not ever take my kindness as my weakness. Do not see me as a timid one.
I dont know
Hunger for my own defined success!!! I will be a cute Wolf Argh!
Yup
Stay strong, sw !!! Hang in there, sw !! Be a strong lady and your own man!! Screw all the man. Screw every single of them.. Do not ever rely on anyone but YOURSELF!!! Everyone is selfish including me. Human are such disgusting creatures.. Its always about gaining.. What is the point of me being so ever transparent when they put up layers for themselves??!!! I will Guard myself well. I will never be as open, transparent and naked to anyone anymore. I have went back to the state before I meet you... Where I thought being strong is the only option I have... and thats I ever will be.. I SHALL BE!!!
hang in there sw|ws dont cry
Monday, March 13, 2017
Sunday, March 12, 2017
Those that Lived A Butterfly's Life
Why do someone need a blog?
Thanks to you, I didn't needed one for so so long.. To pour my daily thoughts or daily updates. Yet here I am again. The only place where I can just tear down my mask, my inner thoughts..
Ive graduated for the past 9 months now. Been in AIA for the past 3 months. This is my 4th month. Time flies. I've learnt so much.. so so much .. I have learnt that Life Isn't About Roses and Butterflies the SUPER hard way. Someone that like Roses and Butterflies like me frequently think that Life had always that way or that People just fail to see or search for them. Open their Eyes and they can find their own Butterflies.. :) Is that so?
Things been so hard for me. Yet I feel myself stronger. I no longer feel emotion. I have forgot how to be happy and sad for the longest time know. Work is all that i had. Friends and family that I can pour my shit to? None. Why? Because in my line of career, I can't complain.. And its not professional to do so. So just suck it and Life is like this. They chose not to be a Butterflies. Butterflies are really rare outside. Really very rare. In my line of work, ppl reveal their inner self to me.. Omg, so UGLY. So shitty..Full of shits and fake ppl out there.. Why? Why chose to pollute ? Im fighting hard and strong not to be polluted. So the irony is Those that Lived a Butterfly life, NEVER LIVES LIFE. So what is your choice? Fuck all of them.. fuck all these shit.
The only emotion i felt strongest is Anger. Anger pushes me forward alot. I shall remain a Butterfly and I will Fly as High.. When tiny little sadness came creeping in, I don't allow myself to wallop in Self Pity. I realized that I don't cry as bad anymore. I'm like wow. My tears have dried up afterall. But Pain is always there with me. Especially yesterday. Everything seems like breaking apart.. my dearest zm,..work, my sister, My PR application gone wrong cos my sister book it wrongly? I can feel myself slowly breaking...And I cried so hard last night. Oh god till now I felt like crying... Im just tired, I guess. Very very very tired...inside me is always crying..
To zm:
You were one of the rare butterflies.. :) Thanks for everything up till now.. I'm sorry. I am so so sorry that I fell apart and I fell out of love from you. Sorry for the Pain that you were going thru..I hope one day U will no longer feel it.. I do still miss you very much as a Friend. You were my Best Friend and my Lover true to my own soul, my heart and my body.. afterall :) please take care. Stay happy and healthy always always.. :)
Thanks to you, I didn't needed one for so so long.. To pour my daily thoughts or daily updates. Yet here I am again. The only place where I can just tear down my mask, my inner thoughts..
Ive graduated for the past 9 months now. Been in AIA for the past 3 months. This is my 4th month. Time flies. I've learnt so much.. so so much .. I have learnt that Life Isn't About Roses and Butterflies the SUPER hard way. Someone that like Roses and Butterflies like me frequently think that Life had always that way or that People just fail to see or search for them. Open their Eyes and they can find their own Butterflies.. :) Is that so?
Things been so hard for me. Yet I feel myself stronger. I no longer feel emotion. I have forgot how to be happy and sad for the longest time know. Work is all that i had. Friends and family that I can pour my shit to? None. Why? Because in my line of career, I can't complain.. And its not professional to do so. So just suck it and Life is like this. They chose not to be a Butterflies. Butterflies are really rare outside. Really very rare. In my line of work, ppl reveal their inner self to me.. Omg, so UGLY. So shitty..Full of shits and fake ppl out there.. Why? Why chose to pollute ? Im fighting hard and strong not to be polluted. So the irony is Those that Lived a Butterfly life, NEVER LIVES LIFE. So what is your choice? Fuck all of them.. fuck all these shit.
The only emotion i felt strongest is Anger. Anger pushes me forward alot. I shall remain a Butterfly and I will Fly as High.. When tiny little sadness came creeping in, I don't allow myself to wallop in Self Pity. I realized that I don't cry as bad anymore. I'm like wow. My tears have dried up afterall. But Pain is always there with me. Especially yesterday. Everything seems like breaking apart.. my dearest zm,..work, my sister, My PR application gone wrong cos my sister book it wrongly? I can feel myself slowly breaking...And I cried so hard last night. Oh god till now I felt like crying... Im just tired, I guess. Very very very tired...inside me is always crying..
To zm:
You were one of the rare butterflies.. :) Thanks for everything up till now.. I'm sorry. I am so so sorry that I fell apart and I fell out of love from you. Sorry for the Pain that you were going thru..I hope one day U will no longer feel it.. I do still miss you very much as a Friend. You were my Best Friend and my Lover true to my own soul, my heart and my body.. afterall :) please take care. Stay happy and healthy always always.. :)
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