The End

After reading what annyen posted me. . . . I could finally understand. The seal has been broken.You did it, this time :) I could finally understand what you want now. It's very painful,yes. Understanding the way you see me all this while. And i think there's really no use now.No use explaining for myself or either way. Though i must say I really want to talk with you. Just that it seems like i would always look like the shy and small shanwen to you and you would always look like the-hard-to-talk and hard-to-accept-talk type to me. Like you said, 7 years. The happiest days of my life.

You win. I give up. But i'm really very sorry for what i have done yesterday.I could only recalled what i had done yesterday this morning when i wake up. It's been such a bother eh? To have repeat things for me so many times. Have to hurt so many times to repeat all this. It's been hard to have my friends keep scolding you. .when you only really want to do your own things. I apologize to you sincerely. I won't bug you anymore. Sorry. I don't even know if you could read this now.

Yes, i wake up. I really do, now. I have died twice. I can't avoid the pain that will eat me up eventually. You are the best bf i'll ever had. I never called you that before. But you'll always be.

I can do it. I know i can. I will learn to live for myself. And i will cry for myself. Not you anymore.