Confessions. . .

Ah. . . I stayed awake from 4 till 7am last two nights after watching 6th Sense. It was not a scary ghost movie and in fact it's a nice one. But even the least scariest ghost movie will make me wake up in the middle of the nights. Wake up where I'll find myself imagining stuff and feeling very scared. I'll keep forcing myself to get back to sleep. I don't know. But it's abit embarrassing to admit so many things here. But no one will know. Not even my sister. Unless she reads my posts. Haha.

I grow cold easily. I often find myself snuggle to the nearest person beside me. When i open my eyes, saw that i've taken up a lot of spaces of the bed, when i moved back to my place, it seems i will accidentally make the person beside me uncomfortable and i'll whisper them sorry. Even to my mum. I'll sleep with her again when i go back. Haha. My mum sometimes will wake up and asked me " are you cold? " cos i think i woke her up by sleeping too close to her.

Even though i'm turning 20 this year, i will still gently hold onto the some parts of the clothes of someone sleeping beside me. I held my aunt's. I held my popo's. I help my sis's. And i held yours. I don't know why. But i feel better this way. Maybe this is some kind of childhood problem? I don't like it when i find no one beside me the moment i wake up. When i was a child, i often wake up to find my mum missing, leaving my sister and I in the house. Cos when mum's here, it means less beatings from dad. Even that i understand that she had to go to work. Just that that feeling is really not a good one. A reason that i won't leave anyone behind me. I will give best in waiting for them, doing everything for them.

Don't know why i'm sharing this here.

Maybe it's because i'm still saying " when i'm grown up, i'll . . . " and my friends and my family members will replied " you are not a child now, right? "

If it is, why did i ever feel like one?

i think i miss my popo slightly too much today. Or rather Myself.