I went back to RPS for training but Sir didn't turn up that day. It's good that he rested at home though. Speaking of which, I forgot that i promised him that i would call him before i come back to singapore. Haiz. . .I miss RPS. . Those days. . . the place where i grow and learn a lot of things. . the happiest days of my life. . .the place where everything started after all. . . Happy to see my juniors, coping with their problems well, i hope :)
Managed to talk with my form teacher, Puan Fong a little. It was nice talking to her. Gave me good advices since she is the one who know where are my limits after teaching me for two years. Hope that she didn't go and spread around that i cried while talking that day. Haha. I'm so much used to crying than smiling nowadays :) You're the best teacher i've ever had, Pn. Fong !
Along these few days, i learn that things always won't go the way you wanted them. Not that you like or you want. Nothing of that sort. I talked to mum and mum taught me to be practical. You want it or not, you still have to. I think she is right. Me too. I don't want all this so much. Mum said coming back to Msia to study is very expensive ( i mean good private universities ) . I find it harder to live with family now. I always try my best in making everyone happy include my dad. But i find it so hard now. How can you do it especially when you're not? I think i have lost my old self. And it seems it affects my family a lot. I'm being grumpy all the time. Dad always make use of this and always persuade me to go back more frequently. Why must you force me to please you? Why do you always make me to feel so guilty so much? Only Me. Why not the others?
I cannot do it anymore.
It still feels tough without my popo. And this time, visiting more graves. I broke down when i saw her. I miss popo so much. Other than that, i had always enjoy cheng beng :)
I'm glad that i passed my Undang at one go at 46.
Driving lesson was ok. I was nervous and scared at first.It didn't turn out badly, i guess. I didn't believe that i was driving. Haha. . But i prefer motor. Feels free. I sucked at driving. The engine died kinda lot of times when i was at the slope.The uncle kept scolding me for not being gentle with the brake. I bet all instructors have black rotten teeth and long dirty nails. Still touch my hand summo. T__T I think someone told me this before? Sounds familiar :)
Anyway, i'm looking forward to driving lessons again.
"Ah po, I'm very scared."
"Are you lonely below? "
"Take me away with you . . "
Given what unwanted
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