Tore down, my wall . . .

Okay. . This is the only place that i can express. .so i really don't care or mind what people would say about me if they happen to read this. But i think i'll die in an instant when my family sees this. LOL

I don't know what about me that attracts you. A boy asked me to be his gf just after knowing me for 4 days? We're classmates. We talked alot before he asked me. I got to know that he always get rejected by girls. Then at first, i took pity on him and agreed to try out with him.I'm his first GF. I didn't open myself up to him. I thought he would grow tired of me that way.

However, what he had done in this few days. And what he had told me today. Managed to touch the deepest depth of my heart. I thought you won't see thru my lies. I never thought that you didnt treat them as jokes. He actually asked for more time for his studies and room of improvements for himself . When i thought you were just a guy - a normal one that certainly don't see studies as priority. But when he told me that he can't focus on his things and i don't know which part of me made him that i'm the "best" among the "best" in girls. .He told me that he was afraid too. Afraid of losing control over himself. Afraid of losing me in future.I didn't know that he would actually put in so much efforts. And when he told me all this. . . I was actually happy. At least he is not afraid of hurting me .As in he wanted to become friends now. It was just that it sounded the same as what she told me when she wanted to break up with me :)

I brokedown and had actually hid myself somewhere during lunch time. It wasn't his fault at all and yet he is damn guilty over it. I didn't know he is this serious in our relatinship. Halo, we just started for less than a week. But he is already saying about our future. Saying that he wanted to become a capable man for me. So he needs time. I am okay with it and i said i'll try to distance myself from him in school. Then both of us realised that we are almost in the same group for every projects till we graduate ==

Yea. I guessed i played with too much fire.And the flame had burnt my wall down. So, i really pray and hope hard to GOD. Please let this one be the right one.

i was touched
when you actually move me away from the sunlights
when you hold my hand and ask me to wait for you
when you didn't ask about my past
when you always find the safest place for me to stand
when you wipe the bird shit landed on my hand using your shirt
when you're there although i'm always pushing you away