Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Ah. . How long has it been for me to feel so free? It was such a nice feeling to ride on a bike wandering around my popo's house.

I'm back in ipoh for CNY and have started cleaning the house for a while now. Haiz. . And i thought i would be feeling better and better, it turns out to be. . . . . i don't know myself. Such mixed dreadful feelings that i want so much to fix it to make myself to feel better. Beyond despair. I feel stupid for feeling this way.

Friends, don't comfort. Cos i will feel that you are only making yourself to feel better just to say some words to me. Things won't get any better. I don't need you to remind me that nothing can be done nor be changed anymore. LOL
Cos people will feel like punching you for talking all these. Although i know you guys are concerned and understand about my situation? I will still feel like you guys don't, really. It is especially important when you want to comfort your friends after taking their results ( in which their results are not what they want ) . So, dont comfort. Cos things can't be changed anymore. I know. That's why my friends and I do not intend to ask for each other's results or to try to do anything when we have our results in a few weeks time T___T Miss you so much, HL . thanks for the warm hug you gave me everytime we meet. All the best for our results !

I'm glad that i choose to talk to my friends. Even though you guys are not close to me, even though i didn't tell my mum the whole story ( cos i want my mum to stop mentioning the name), I feel better. My mum said " you reap what you sow and it is you who choose the path "
Yea, it is me who choose to tell friends, to share my sadness and stuff. You didn't. So, don't ask me not to compare my pain and yours when I didn't even compare. The feeling of pain is just the same. Heart breaking and torturing. When you feel like im comparing and ask me not to compare, you're actually comparing mine and yours, not me.

I want to suffer, friends. Don't comfort, really. Promise you that i won't hurt myself.Thanks for listening and sorry for making you guys worry ^ ^. All the best yea.

Thinking of finding a job soon after taking my results XD Hope and pray hard that i'll get one.


don't play tricks with me, god.

1 comment:

  1. Aiya, I just send you a msg in FB. Since you put it that way, I understand what you want. You choose to feel hurt but since you said that you wont hurt yourself physically, then I felt relieved aldy. From now onwards, I wont try to scold you, to comfort you or anything else. If you wanna talk to me, then go ahead. If not, then never mind. I dont want you to repeat telling so many times. Good luck and hope you recover soon.

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