This year's CNY was the worst, i guess. . . . .but i'm happy that i managed to clean the whole house. . all clean and tidy. . throw alot of stuff. . and i thought i'll be getting asthma soon for all the dust. But, finally, three weeks is going to end soon. Going back to Singapore this coming friday. Mum and dad doing fine. Except that the house is alot more silent without my popo anymore. Mum caught me crying alot. That's bad. Don't want her to worry me so much. Plus, i am bad at lying. Can't blame me, right? It's like everything reminded me of her. February the 11th and the 14th. My worst nightmares.I stayed close to my mum at nights.

It's a difficult phase that i am having here. So much decisions to make. And i really don't like making them. I don't know how to do things because of myself. I can't find a reason T____T. So, i think i'll just go by any path that my brother shows me. But not physics. I don't even know what i want to do. Die. I have to choose my course and apply for universities straight after my results. I'm praying hard. T____T
My subject combition is already weird. Geography and Chemistry. HAiz. . . .Lesser options for me in Singapore's local universities. Better for huiwen, maybe? I found out that i don't really like teaching. Haiz. . . .And i don't want to study overseas beside singapore. Not Australia. Not Taiwan. I would rather . . . . . NO. I will make a choice for myself this time.

At first, i thought we won't ended up meeting each other some time in future. But I'm glad. Thanks to God that i can see her for the last time. Although hurt and pain is the only thing i can get. Thanks. I have missed her very much. I know yook woon would kill me if she sees this. It's my first time seeing her so mad that she pulled me to the toilet and scolded the hell out of me that day. She nearly slapped me T____T
I was actually praying that shuyun will come in and save me out. Haiz. . She didn't. How can i explain that i don't know how to think for myself? How can i explain that i will still wait and hope even if i break? How to explain that even i am disgust and irritate at myself for making you all feel this way? I AM DISGUTING. I hate myself.
I don't dare to scold her back. LOL
But hugging someone and cry hard is the best feeling i got for now. Seeing her make me more certain, that I will wait. Yes, i will.

You looked fine and i am glad. I wouldn't want to barge into your life anymore even if i wanted it cos you're better off without me :) Slightly more expressive at least. Won't keep things to yourself anymore, i hope.