Those that Lived A Butterfly's Life

Why do someone need a blog?

Thanks to you, I didn't needed one for so so long.. To pour my daily thoughts or daily updates. Yet here I am again. The only place where I can just tear down my mask, my inner thoughts..

Ive graduated for the past 9 months now. Been in AIA for the past 3 months. This is my 4th month. Time flies. I've learnt so much.. so so much .. I have learnt that Life Isn't About Roses and Butterflies the SUPER hard way. Someone that like Roses and Butterflies like me frequently think that Life had always that way or that People just fail to see or search for them. Open their Eyes and they can find their own Butterflies.. :) Is that so?

Things been so hard for me. Yet I feel myself stronger. I no longer feel emotion. I have forgot how to be happy and sad for the longest time  know. Work is all that i had. Friends and family that I can pour my shit to? None. Why? Because in my line of career, I can't complain.. And its not professional to do so. So just suck it and Life is like this. They chose not to be a Butterflies. Butterflies are really rare outside. Really very rare. In my line of work, ppl reveal their inner self to me.. Omg, so UGLY. So shitty..Full of shits and fake ppl out there.. Why? Why chose to pollute ? Im fighting hard and strong not to be polluted. So the irony is Those that Lived a Butterfly life, NEVER LIVES LIFE. So what is your choice?  Fuck all of them.. fuck all these shit.

The only emotion i felt strongest is Anger. Anger pushes me forward alot. I shall remain a Butterfly and I will Fly as High.. When tiny little sadness came creeping in, I don't allow myself to wallop in Self Pity. I realized that I don't cry as bad anymore. I'm like wow. My tears have dried up afterall.  But Pain is always there with me. Especially yesterday. Everything seems like breaking apart.. my dearest zm,..work, my sister, My PR application gone wrong cos my sister book it wrongly? I can feel myself slowly breaking...And I cried so hard last night. Oh god till now I felt like crying... Im just tired, I guess. Very very very tired...inside me is always crying..

To zm:

You were one of the rare butterflies.. :) Thanks for everything up till now.. I'm sorry. I am so so sorry that I fell apart and I fell out of love from you. Sorry for the Pain that you were going thru..I hope one day U will no longer feel it.. I do still miss you very much as a Friend.  You were my Best Friend and my Lover true to my own soul, my heart and my body.. afterall :)  please take care. Stay happy and healthy always always..  :)