Tuesday, April 4, 2017

FUCKING WAKE UP

HOW FUCKING LOW MORE TO GO!!!!!???
HOW FUCKING MORE LOW THAT I HAVE TO GO!!!????

 That's what kept screaming in my heart once my father's Volvo crashed or bumped into a stationary car... I don't even know how to put it..My first accident with my brother as my passenger. The feeling sucks... I was lost. Like totally lost case there.. What if anything happen to my bro? I will never forgive myself.  I will never ever offer to drive anymore until I have the confidence to.. till i have the skills to... AND I WILL NEVER LET THIS FEAR CONSUME ME!!!!!!!

Life's sure HELLA TOUGH. But I've woke up this time. WHAT HAVE I FUCKING DONE!!!???? OR ACHIEVED? WHEN THINGS THAT I HAVE ALL DONE IS ALL FUXKING 21 WHEN IM ALREADY FUXKING 27 THIS YEAR!!!!!! Please wake up, SW. YOU have achieved NOTHING at AGE 27 GODDAMNIT!!!! 

I will work very very hard and achieve something by the end of this year. If not, I have really lost my meaning in life... I dunno what the hell I am living for... why the hell my mum bring me out to this world for...humans are so scary to begin with... Too selfish. She didn't asked me whether my brother and I are okay.. Besides, thinking about the $$$ to repair the car. I don't blame her. I'm used to it anyway.

Just tonight, i will allow myself to weep or get teary just for this.. After this, I will be fucking alright tmr

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