To my dear :)

I'm unwantd anyway. . i'm abandoned again. In the first place, i don't even know why she had wanted me. I only know how to ask for her care, ask for her happiness. . This should not be something new to me anymore. She has done this to me many times without her realising it.

My brother even approved of us, do you know that?

He's right. Does it make any differences ? It's just the word " break up". You are not there always when i need you. Not there for me to hug. I wanted you to say things when you didn't. Wanted you so mcuh to hold me when you didn't. You can spend money to go to Singapore just for Cosplaying. But not me. Can't you see?

Even if i'm near you, I'm associated with your uneasiness. Yet, you claimed we are too far apart? I'm doing all my best, can't you see? I thought i could lend you my shoulder anytime you want. But you pushed me away. SO, it's just nothing. From now on, i have nothing to lose except myself. I have just lost my reason to smile. That's all. I'm still me.

I'm glad that i am of use anyway. I made her strong huh.

I thought she wouldn't realise it. I knew this day would come. I had realised it many months ago.But i do not intend to wake her up.

She did not explain it well though. What did i do that make you hurt? I'm just asking the basics. Cares. . attention, thoughts.. all those. Why didn't you feel that the pain you have gone through are the pain that i'm went through too? Why does she feel that she is the only one in pain? Why does she feels that i'm the one always hurting her? Why didn't she realise that it was her that made me change? In fact, i just changed to want her much more to myself. And yet i let myself unprotected to allow you to hurt me so much. I allow myself to held high hopes on her.

" What you don't like about it, i will CHANGE ". You told me this in the past. This was a LIE also right? You told me that you would love me till the end of the world. It was another lie. Please use better words.

I would admit that we should have broken up earlier since we had not yet let each other " SEE the REAL " each other yet. I'm not open up to you and you knew that. You are more open up to your "friends" when you claimed that i'm your girlfriend. Don't deny that. You don't even dare to let me hurt.

Don't you dare look down on me. You think i would do what you say? Forget you huh? Maybe the day i die? I would be happy if it's the case. You would be the only one i love in my life. That was also something i have said in the past. It will always be the same. So, take your time. I wouldn't blame if our line of thoughts is different. I don't agree what you say and you don't agree mine's. But i chose to suffer and hurt. I would be there for you till the end of the world. That's my promise and i would DO IT.

I would be the finest girl when you see me the next time. I wouldn't be the one who will be asking you questions anymore. I would then have the real strength to protect you for your whole life. When i'm ready, i will find you again.

So, don't say sorry when i don't hold any grudges against you nor do i feel what you're doing is wrong. You just choose not to suffer anymore. I'm glad you did cos i know i wouldn't have the will to do that on my own. I tried to ask you back then was my selfishness.


I will wait for you.