From me ^^

Things better now. I hope. My grandma was admitted to the hosipital and everything is going bad for her. I was naive. My pain was nothing compared to hers. She can still smile and made a long way here for me to see her. With all the abdominal pains, liver , kidney. . .everything is slowing down for her. I wonder why. Why make someone like her suffer from all this? I haven't exprience this before and I'm kinda afraid to accept it. I haven't lose any of my loved ones before. So, yeah. . Kinda pain. Kinda want to take her place. That's why i think life is really hard. We must have done something very wrong in the past that we were to born as human to suffer. I wonder how she feels in total darkness. Something that i fear so much also. She can't see now. So, i think I shouldn't be afraid of darkness anymore. I want to be as brave as her. Putting a step ahead without knowing what's ahead. I shall have no fear for what comes for me. Not pain. Not sadness. Anymore.

You know, I used to hold up my feelings - that is to surpress my happiness or emotions. So that i won't get too much hurt later. Some way, protecting myself. I know that's abit unfair to everyone cos some of them really put out all of thier effort in to reach out to me. So, I have decided not to bind myself anymore. So, let it come. HAte Love Hurt Disappointment. They are much people who are much more unfortunate than me. Although there are also much more people lucky than me XD

Sorry that i couldn't be there. Not being able to lend you my shoulder. It's okay to be like this. Just express out when you feel the NEED. Just like what I'm doing now although I'm having A levels =.= My feelings for you has grow stronger again. You know? ^^ So , you better be strong.Cos when you feel this way, I feel the ache too. I will be strong for you. So, buck up. I will go to you soon. You know, I'm very happy with you just staying beside me . Even though we are not talking, not doing anything, just staying by your side made me feel secure. Even though sometimes, I feel weird and stupid cos we are staying silent towards each other. In some ways, i feel you more and get comforted in some ways. I hope you can be fine soon. Hope you'll find happiness soon. Everyone also ^^

Updates about A levels will come soon straight after i finish it. Just 5 more papers to go. I don't wish to talk about it here now. Haiz. . . Let's do it. Let's face it and finish it. Stupid A levels.

Take care everyone. ^^ Ka yao !


LNM you ~