Coming to an end ~

My last lap finally.. This is my second time applying to universities... And i dont have good feelings with either of the results that might turn out to be. I will apply all and see how :)  I am eager to learn about my turning point in life. Life is going to be much tough for me if i am able to get in. I am no smart girl. I wont be able to take stress too. Alot of ppl told me about this. And i hate to hear it very much. My emotions and feelings easily readable from my actions and facial expressions.

A friend of mine told me from his life experience that i should learn how to fake a little in front of people. Do not share the problem with the same circle or group of friends. Share it with another group of friends so that you wont get affected much even if trust was neglected. Assumptions being made too much. I cared too much. I acted too real and helpful. People will take me for granted.." You do not know how to protect yourself at all... "

I do not like what he said at all. He lost trust in people. Although it seemed that he has his point. But i didnt want to lose trust in people and my friends. It was hurtful, yes and they didnt even know about it. I have learnt that certain things really just dont breakeven.

My previous weeks was really torturing.. Sucked up all my mental and physical energy. I broke down easily with any slightest provocation. When the term starts, everything comes in a rush. The first week of school was rather depressing already from the backstab incident. Top it off with fyp report, assignments from each of the modules... online quizes, lab tests.. and at the same time, i have to make decisions on two job offers.. Have to weigh alot of things. Not only that, I continued to work. I worked for more than 10 hours at times. A day, I worked like a full timer. I worked for 8 hours. Plus going for classes and lectures on the same day. All these... hmmmm... i wont say much. These are the choices i made :)

I have just ended three tests last week.. And Phew.. I finally able to breathe better just yesterday after my fyp presentation :)

That was the best presentation that i have given so far. Or mayb that the panel of tired lecturers made me felt calm. I wasnt nervous at all for the first time standing in front. I was feeling bad for them for sitting in for all presentations for the whole day. I wasnt given a leading position for quite some time. It was a rather good feeling and i am happy to work with them. My fyp was smooth sailing. I am very lucky comparing with other groups.. Like my mum said, the process is always hard.. Till you're out from your training ground :)

I was much stronger in the past. And learning this. Not to say that i am weak now. But I am going to be much much stronger. I will learn to be as independent as before.

Only a few more weeks left. Only a few papers left to mark the end of my poly life. I am going to miss them so much. So much :)

Coming to an end ~