Happiness has always been my base emotion. My concrete one. And that i need that source of energy very much. Happiness grows from within. I cannot expect or depend on anyone else to give me this. This is something i must pulled myself up from. When i emo, i will distant myself from ppl. Limit communications. So that they dont feel it. And that makes things easier for me to save up all the hard explanations cos i dont even know how to explain and how i am going do it.
But then. This is what i came across in a book. In life, you need ten kinds of Love Vitamins.
1. Vitamin G1 - Love and Support from God
2. Vitamin P1 - Love and Support from our parents.
3. Vitamin F - Love and Support from family, friends and having fun.
4. Vitamin P2 - Love and Support from peers and others like us with similar goals.
5. Vitamin S - Love and Support from ourselves.
6. Vitamin R - Love and Support from intimate relationships, partnerships and romance.
7. Vitamin D - Love and Support from someone who is dependent on us.
8. Vitamin C - Love and Support to our communities.
9. Vitamin W - Love and Support back to the world.
10. Vitamin G2 - Serving God.
A rich and fully satisfying life will be fulled by each of these ten kinds of love and support. When you are dissatisfied in life ( no inner success) or you not getting what you want ( no outer success), the base reason is that you not getting what you need. In many cases, your heart might be open, but you are looking at the wrong direction. At other times, you might be looking at the correct direction, but your heart is closed. You cannot absorb the love your soul needs.
- How to Get What you Want and WAnt what you Have by John Gray
From there, i realized i tried too hard and too dependent on ppl to bring out the happiness in me. And that i made things worst when i started to blame and have expectations when they cannot make me so. That is the worst. I pushed ppl away during these times. Cos it's their kindness and care thought. Haiz.
That is why i always said. YOur body has three kind of tired. Body. Mind. Soul. As for me, I think I am tired in and out for my Soul. Otherwise, i find it still ok.
So what is really my soul craving? :(
I will make effort to pull myself out !!!! I am tough!! And for this, I must learn!! I will go fix my hair if the color remains too bright even after one week of washing my hair T.T
I dont really like my hair as before :(
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