Why again and again

What am I going to do? Sitting down here and cry? Then how am I going to do it? I didn't want to cry at home. I don't have a room for myself today. 

All those sadness and disappointments... 

All those love and hate... 

It's all tearing me apart. 

A part of me wished hard. Wished that you would come and explain to me. Promise me that things will not be the same. And that I will not experience these pains as much anymore.. 

A part of me just tell me that you won't. It's me that told him that I couldn't take it and that I needed the break. But why am I breaking up myself apart now? Why do I still miss? How can both pains weigh almost the same? The pain from the hurt u inflict and the pain from my own heart. 

Why.