回憶 ~

Just bits of memories that i want to hold on to :)

I woke up in the middle of the night as i must wake up when i feel the slightest movement of my grandma sleeping beside me..She was having a very bad cough that my aunt couldn't handle taking care of her on her own. I used all my strength to hold my grandma up for her to choke out her thick phlegm.. After that, in the middle of the night, she began talking. I talked along with her. She talked when she dreams :)

She was the first i called when i ran away from home for the first time 4 years back. I don't want her to worry :)

I woke up in the middle of the night, rushing over to dad's room when my alarm rang to see if he is still awake. He had to be. If he missed one of the stomach dialysis treatment, his lungs or whole body will swell. And he would have difficulties in breathing. If i cannot wake him up, i would have to help him do the treatments even though i am damn sleepy. Those were i think 7 years back i think .

Looking up,

wishing that you would be looking at me from above =)

Others can !! Why can't I?

Hmmm..I shall appreciate the remaining two weeks of what seems to be holiday to me ^^

Not much though but i did learn from my experienced supervisor..Thank you very much..I am grateful :)

I wonder how things will go this year...Times flies man...A quarter of the year gone..

I shall stick what i have chosen when i entered this poly.. I will DO WELL in studies. At least this is what I promise myself. At least i know this is what i want. Will try not to overdo but i dowan to break the promise i have made to myself :)

Others can. Why can't I?!!

Results

I don't know what to say.. My cumulative GPA is only 3.531..

My highest GPA was once 3.89 ... Where did it went wrong? Yea...My all can only reach 3.531...

How could i be happy about my shitty results? And how could i be sad when that is the maximum i could give already?

But right now. I chose to be sad.

I don't even know what i want to do.

I don't know.

All i know is giving up is not an option for me. It feels so. Tiring :(

No matter how hard u try. No matter how much effort you put in.

They only know that i looked stressed up all the time.

Good rest ~

I am currently having a really gud rest apart from my Itp and all....At last to have some time for myself to do the things i like and to go out with my friends :)

I feel awesome ! Less stress and rushing here and there...No need to juggle between work and studies.. Finally, things get to STOP for me .. At least for a while.. :D

I am saving money for my further studies after my Diploma but somehow..i really don't know which path i shud take. I know having a degree is more secure but If i need to work plus studies, how am i going to catch up for my studies in Uni. I am not smart also... :(

Plus, i found out that i prefer working with people rather than spending time alone inside the lab..Won't your mouth get stink if u dun open it the whole day ><

Do i really want to do Adv Diploma in my course? :(

Although i am much more fit in the past, and i suffer each time when i work out or jog..It feels really like dying...lol..Sometimes, i dun even feel oxygen pumping in ... but all these are not going to stop me from doing what i like ! I will find time to go a run or walk more :) To regain my momentum and to train my heart to be stronger ! I wan go swim ! D;

Jog ~

You won't know.

Have you ever feel the sudden tremendous fear of losing someone you love? Mayb someone you didn't even know that you've got so strong feelings attached to. You didn't know it was love. Till you lose them. Forever. I was alone too when i received the call from my mum. Just like now inside the lab in my previous ITP till i lost my dad.

I didn't know.

My itp wasn't that busy and i guess if i am to continue to work for Teadot during my ITP, i can actually manage it.. It feels better if money keeps flowing in.. :) But in terms of rest, i think i do deserve some. So, treat yourself a little better, sw..You can do it. Rest for now.

Back from Ipoh :)

Well... I will be out from house for my first day of work in another mins :)

Just got back from Ipoh an hour ago...I had a great time spent with my mum and my aunties :D

We did bought a Mac for dad ><

I didn't know my mum has a passion for dance !! She danced in front of us that day and i was stunned...She was a happy dancer! Cha-cha, waltz...rumba..etc etc ..My mum knows it all. WOw !

When you are doing something you like, that is when i feel that you're are more "you" :)

I did drive awhile when i was back .. Awesome ! :D

Time to go soon.. All the way to go !!

More hours of work :(

Just received a call from my teadot manager saying i need to work more hours during my ITP..I wonder if i will die if i work for more than 16 hours in a day !!! She even asked whether i can work more hours this week .

I am at my max. Didn't mean i dun complain, i am not tired and all. Friends see me as chiongster. The real fact is all i want is just study. I choose not to say anything. I feel bad sometimes for grabbing all their slots at t17 and other places :(

Mum, you are the best in the world. You gave the best motivations when i need it the most. It's really sad when you are the one comforting others and yet you can't comfort and help yourself when you need it the most. Mum, I Love you ! And never say yourself useless as a mother !! Even your daughters are paying their own school fees ! Be proud of us ! ;D

Dad, i left your last question to me unanswered. You asked to tell you the amount of my school fees so that you can debit money into my account. I never tell. I never wanted you to think about it at all . Even though you told me it's your responsibilities. I shall reveal to you now. Each semester will be around 2K..But by the time i graduate i think i owe the bank ard 20K.. lol

I am sorry. I love you, dad. Miss you :(

I am strong as both of you raise us to be. I know i can do it !!! :D

Wish i can go back longer to my hometown !

I dun even dare to say the word :(