Sunday, September 13, 2015

What should I do

What should I do to live freely again 
What should I do so that I can be happy again 
Happy for the longest time I've had 

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

In fact it was his gaze that day.. that gaze that brought me back.

The longing gaze that couldn't bear me to leave him. Or at least that's what i felt. Then I asked if I can go to him. He said "OK". I felt both of our hearts rejoiced. It felt lighter. 

.............

But then again. now Why?
How?

Monday, June 8, 2015

Two People

I have been so harsh to him.

I feel that he's being harsh on me. Sometimes, i just couldn't tell. Could I? :(

Two people with different teachings in life. Different thinking. Different beliefs in love.
Different styles of expression.

It was just so harsh.
It was way harsher when we both started. When we both know each other.

You are my best friend. At the same time, my lover. All these while..

Its really been brick by brick..You took so long :(

Here I wish. I pray..

If this is what meant for us or for what we may become in the near long future.
May we both see. May we both hold for what's true to our heart.

May it never be too hard for the both of us.

I love you.

Yours forever,
Shanwen

Friday, June 5, 2015

What should I do. 

Help.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

A living Parasite

I feel that I have given you enough space... It's not that you focus ur 100% of your concentration on me always when we meet.

Its been always divided. Ur mum. Ur aquarium. Ur dota. Ur game. Ur rest.

I am not even meeting you everyday. And you seldom ask. So how should I? Why?

Each time you brought up that you would like your own space and all. Haven't I given you enough? What do you still need?

Whenever you said this. Each time. I had almost fear of meeting you... scare of taking your time.. Or did you even want to see me in the first place? Did you want to spend time with me? You seldom ask.. All you would always say is you would to want rest or cannot make it. Or need to settle your stuff.

How do I meet you or go out with you... when it can never be truly happy for me.. when I am so scared that you would prefer to do something else or rather be at home? Or I am taking up ur space?
I feel like a burden instead. Like what you said, too tight on you instead. You make me feel that it's wrong of wanting to meet you or spend time with you. A living parasite.

 At home, scared of taking up ur space and time.
Going out, always guilty of taking up your rest time or worsening ur health. Did you always know?

Complain so much about you in the end when you are doing ur best loving me. Making you said that you don't know how long you can take it and you're not a machine. How? You tell me how.

...Too tight may be good  and maybe not so good too...*

Did you always know?

Sinner in the end again


Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Fuck

Why you fucking go hurt someone u love, SW???!!!! 

Words I used are so harsh... Omg... 

Fuck

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Please be alright...

When will things be stable and alright? :(