Two People

I have been so harsh to him.

I feel that he's being harsh on me. Sometimes, i just couldn't tell. Could I? :(

Two people with different teachings in life. Different thinking. Different beliefs in love.
Different styles of expression.

It was just so harsh.
It was way harsher when we both started. When we both know each other.

You are my best friend. At the same time, my lover. All these while..

Its really been brick by brick..You took so long :(

Here I wish. I pray..

If this is what meant for us or for what we may become in the near long future.
May we both see. May we both hold for what's true to our heart.

May it never be too hard for the both of us.

I love you.

Yours forever,
Shanwen

What should I do. 

Help.

A living Parasite

I feel that I have given you enough space... It's not that you focus ur 100% of your concentration on me always when we meet.

Its been always divided. Ur mum. Ur aquarium. Ur dota. Ur game. Ur rest.

I am not even meeting you everyday. And you seldom ask. So how should I? Why?

Each time you brought up that you would like your own space and all. Haven't I given you enough? What do you still need?

Whenever you said this. Each time. I had almost fear of meeting you... scare of taking your time.. Or did you even want to see me in the first place? Did you want to spend time with me? You seldom ask.. All you would always say is you would to want rest or cannot make it. Or need to settle your stuff.

How do I meet you or go out with you... when it can never be truly happy for me.. when I am so scared that you would prefer to do something else or rather be at home? Or I am taking up ur space?
I feel like a burden instead. Like what you said, too tight on you instead. You make me feel that it's wrong of wanting to meet you or spend time with you. A living parasite.

 At home, scared of taking up ur space and time.
Going out, always guilty of taking up your rest time or worsening ur health. Did you always know?

Complain so much about you in the end when you are doing ur best loving me. Making you said that you don't know how long you can take it and you're not a machine. How? You tell me how.

...Too tight may be good  and maybe not so good too...*

Did you always know?

Sinner in the end again

Fuck

Why you fucking go hurt someone u love, SW???!!!! 

Words I used are so harsh... Omg... 

Fuck

Please be alright...

When will things be stable and alright? :(

Dream.

I dreamt.. I dreamt of us at the aisle... I was in my gown and so as u. You look great with ur stupid backcomb... And you  are wearing tinted shoes and I was wearing heels... You were hugging my waist while I put my hands a round ur neck.. The crowds asking us to kiss.. But I whispered in ur ears and touched ur back and ask if ur back hurts.. 

"Let's go change our shoes.. It's damn pain...." And we both laughed and smiled away. 

Our faces touched. We were waiting to see sunrise together next.. Then I thought sleeping beside you was enough.. Don't need wake up for the sunrise..

It was a nice dream. Can I don't wake up from it? 

Thinking till no ends. Karma

Something that I had never ever believe would happened...

Happened on me.

How did I fall out of love so sudden?

It came back on and off....Your "I thought you would take more time..." sent me off again.

Why would u say this? When I could like finally taste my love for u again?

Do u know that you are losing me?

How can u do this? To someone that has put in so much effort in the past to be where we are now? To someone that has been always there for you throughout your ups and downs? To someone that always been there and never fail to be there? What is it that you seek and so dissatisfy with when no one is perfect? You are not perfect as well.

I hate myself.. very much.

Very much.