我的少女時代

Its been only bad post about us lately or for almost a hell of a year.. :(

That's why tonight I aim to retain as much happy memories with you. Carve them deep into my bones and may all these happiness from you ran in my arteries and veins!!!! So that when I go thru hell with you again, these happiness will take all those sadness and hurtful hell outta of the way!!!!

I love you so much, Zhiming. I do not understand why myself. I love you entirely. Even though you make me cry so much! At the same time you make me so happy being with you :)

Let's last long and may we both find forever in each other alright? :*

I didn't know i can be like that.. I couldn't bear to leave ur side earlier in the train. It was harder in the past. I guess I am somehow growing up too. I guess it was slightly harder for you too. Even though you never told me all these at all. I hope I can believe and trust on what i felt from you. Love you very much ! :)

我的少女時代 Our Times】Movie Theme Song - 田馥甄 Hebe Tien《小幸運 A Little Happiness》Official MV

It was really a nice movie ~ 

It reminded me how grateful and lucky I am to have found and meet ya ~ :) 

Thank you for coming into my life 

Thank you for growing up with me, Zhiming :) 

Thank you for just being you.  

~ 31/10/2015(watched two movies that day! YAY!!! XD)

p/s: SW, PLS DON'T BE TOO HARD ON HIM!!!!! HE IS NOT HAVING IT EASY TOO!!!!

Yours always, 

Shanwen 

What should I do

What should I do to live freely again 

What should I do so that I can be happy again 

Happy for the longest time I've had 

In fact it was his gaze that day.. that gaze that brought me back.

The longing gaze that couldn't bear me to leave him. Or at least that's what i felt. Then I asked if I can go to him. He said "OK". I felt both of our hearts rejoiced. It felt lighter. 

.............

But then again. now Why?

How?

Two People

I have been so harsh to him.

I feel that he's being harsh on me. Sometimes, i just couldn't tell. Could I? :(

Two people with different teachings in life. Different thinking. Different beliefs in love.
Different styles of expression.

It was just so harsh.
It was way harsher when we both started. When we both know each other.

You are my best friend. At the same time, my lover. All these while..

Its really been brick by brick..You took so long :(

Here I wish. I pray..

If this is what meant for us or for what we may become in the near long future.
May we both see. May we both hold for what's true to our heart.

May it never be too hard for the both of us.

I love you.

Yours forever,
Shanwen

What should I do. 

Help.

A living Parasite

I feel that I have given you enough space... It's not that you focus ur 100% of your concentration on me always when we meet.

Its been always divided. Ur mum. Ur aquarium. Ur dota. Ur game. Ur rest.

I am not even meeting you everyday. And you seldom ask. So how should I? Why?

Each time you brought up that you would like your own space and all. Haven't I given you enough? What do you still need?

Whenever you said this. Each time. I had almost fear of meeting you... scare of taking your time.. Or did you even want to see me in the first place? Did you want to spend time with me? You seldom ask.. All you would always say is you would to want rest or cannot make it. Or need to settle your stuff.

How do I meet you or go out with you... when it can never be truly happy for me.. when I am so scared that you would prefer to do something else or rather be at home? Or I am taking up ur space?
I feel like a burden instead. Like what you said, too tight on you instead. You make me feel that it's wrong of wanting to meet you or spend time with you. A living parasite.

 At home, scared of taking up ur space and time.
Going out, always guilty of taking up your rest time or worsening ur health. Did you always know?

Complain so much about you in the end when you are doing ur best loving me. Making you said that you don't know how long you can take it and you're not a machine. How? You tell me how.

...Too tight may be good  and maybe not so good too...*

Did you always know?

Sinner in the end again

Fuck

Why you fucking go hurt someone u love, SW???!!!! 

Words I used are so harsh... Omg... 

Fuck