One come after another. Trust

I do not know how to trust you. 

The feeling of betrayal of love. When you can just go friendly with other girls. I shouldn't see and hurt myself up. 

Its a wrong relationship when one could be jealous at other relationships...I never even dare to say it out about how much i am jealous when i can see couples smiling at each other.. when they walked past me holding hands..eyes locked at each other. Their loving texts and they know that they are just there for each other and no one else. They looked and felt so meant to be that they wouldn't care what ppl think about them. The shame and fame they would share them all. The pain and gain. Up till now. I have not minded about ur back or health.

You shared your routine with her. I do not know why you will do that to a friend. You told her that you are boring and what would u expect her to reply or do? What would she think about it when you sound so friendly and approaching? Look at how you app me and how you app your friends..

You held my hand just a little too shortly. And throughout you left my hand felt bare when i ended up walking behind you again. 

I'm really lost.... Clueless... Voiceless. 

Why

I cannot see anything bad....when the name can make you laugh that way...

How your face changed when I asked if it's her....It was a delighted face...that you seldom show me.

I am sorry that I could not understand. It just hurts me so much..

Why did it have to be today? :((((

I am just gonna sleep it off...Maybe later go jog or something..

Why

Why did it happened after yesterday's bliss?

Peaceful .. Cooling ~

It has been awhile since i feel this peaceful... :))

I have always loved this kind of weather. And here I am ... at my old room ( nephew's room now..)
blogging beside the window. Cooling.. =)

Things have been so far alright. Life goes on. I have been getting used to NTU now. The routine..The stress..A different way of study. Yet I failed one module in uni !! :(( Electromagnetics and Magnetics Properties of Materials. I hate it. Or maybe this is just not the course I am carved to be in. I have no other choice but to continue. But let's just see how.. We ought to create our own path!!!

Questions that i will ponder nowadays:

 Am I wasting life away? What have you achieved? What is your standing point in life now?
How much have you actually saved? How much do you still owe?

 Time flies. I'm turning 24. But what have I accomplished? Sigh.. I hope time will tell me!!! Right now, I am having a rather good break with my family and friends. I hope after this break, I gain back my strength to continue my journey to slowly discover more of life!! :)

Things has been going on well with him too. Thank you so much for making the effort and standing by me, Baby! :)

11th

Good or bad.

To me, it was beautiful.

Our feelings are beautiful. 

You did not come. 

Why again and again

What am I going to do? Sitting down here and cry? Then how am I going to do it? I didn't want to cry at home. I don't have a room for myself today. 

All those sadness and disappointments... 

All those love and hate... 

It's all tearing me apart. 

A part of me wished hard. Wished that you would come and explain to me. Promise me that things will not be the same. And that I will not experience these pains as much anymore.. 

A part of me just tell me that you won't. It's me that told him that I couldn't take it and that I needed the break. But why am I breaking up myself apart now? Why do I still miss? How can both pains weigh almost the same? The pain from the hurt u inflict and the pain from my own heart. 

Why.

All lies.