Sad...Stressed SW :(

"You know why i know you are Shanwen ? "

One of my classmates told me this today while i was queuing buying food for my friends at fc3 during the lesson break..

" Because you looked always-stress."

It was hurt to be told something like that. Like i don't realise it :(. That I am stressed or sad all the time. I would say i have none better to do except sad or stressed.. It appears to be like that..It is getting to be like that.

It feels as if i don't know how to become happy anymore :(

It has been awhile already since i feel happy. I longed for it. I longed for the heaviness in my heart to be gone. I longed for the day i can smile and laugh from my heart. How the fuck that can be done? I yearned and longed.

This blog is my only personal space i have. I don't know how to answer others when they comfort me. Becoz i don't want to make them feel bad/troubled of not knowing how to make me feel better. And because when i am not feeling any better, my expressions betrayed me. And I am tired of caring wht my answers might make them feel. Or that how they would think of me.

At this point of time, it would be great to feel that it is okay to cry. It will be good to have someone to tell me it's really okay. It will be great to cry and just cry till i won't cry again.. Till i sad until i sian !

Miss you, SW ! Please be back ! :(

I have tons of things that make me sad.Too little things that can myself happy.

That breath-taking sky piece view ~

~ That breath-taking sky piece view ~

What can be the best Substitute

and Reward

for one-self?

If not the best piece of the night?

The Myriad Stars & Moon all too mesmering

Fit-sitting on the clear cool sky?

~ SW

That sky piece that spreads too wide across ,

It took all my sorrows and heaviness experienced in my heart lately...

It took all my doubts in my mind and heart ...

I feel like i dowan to move a step away from it... D:

It feels like all my troubles gone...lol

I always pray hard under the moon... :)

Things will get tougher soon ! I am weak now but i am going to get back STRONG ! Complain lesser ! Have limits and rest alot more ! Think and worry much lesser ! Have more patience and control in my emotions !

I really hope that i could balance up well my studies and my up-coming job..

covet

day 100th without a father ... I will make you feel proud of me !

I dun have the luxury of not working :(
I dun have the luxury of not moving on :(

A tired day..mentally and physically..

RIP :(

:(

Two relatives all waiting for their time of death...One of them is cancer of the lungs..wtf..Went to visit one of my relatives in the hospital....I dun like it..Really...She was put in coma condition because doc doesnt want her to suffer/feel the pain :( Same as my dad...
Doc told us that she only has time till tonight or the next day..Blood poisoning...

I dun like it...Life is fucking fragile..just becoz of not taken care properly.. :(

I dont know wht to say.
but i will remember you :(

i forgot to bring back my medicines for my stomach! :(
Broke my mother's heart again..
Hate myself for this...my carelessness and forgetfulness :(